


The Gentle Autumn Rain

by Clara_Watson



Series: Quiet Birds AU [6]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, I once tagged this as smut with plot, Reality is it's plot with smut, We needed them for a case, but there are some deviations, canon cases, everyone here is queer we dont support homophobes, i'll add other tags later, non canon cases, threw some Bones in here, time jumping this fic, we're keeping to canon plot mostly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:27:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29154288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clara_Watson/pseuds/Clara_Watson
Summary: We take a trip to Aaron's teenage years, dipping our toes into a messy history, while Derek Morgan struggles with whether or not he will adopt Ellie Spicer. Also ~Doyle~.This is part a million of the Quiet Birds AU~~
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader
Series: Quiet Birds AU [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1930975
Comments: 38
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we have aaron, mom and haley at the ripe old age of 16~~

The sun was trying with all it’s might to break through the thick layer of cloud that had hovered over Clearriver for a week. 

The power was slowly coming back on around town. The rain had stopped early Saturday morning, but it was still coming down in buckets upstream. If you were lucky and your house was high enough you could watch it. 

The river was up, flooding into more houses than people cared to count. There were too many flood related injuries coming into the clinic that your dad taped ‘DO NOT ENTER FLOOD WATER’ to every window he could find in town. Supplies were running low at the general store (the only road in and out of town was flooded, and everyone’s pretty sure it washed away). You’re not sure if it’s correlated, but the moment someone said the store wouldn’t be stocked for a bit, everyone managed to get sick one way or another.

Bad news for the town. 

Good news for the only doctor in town.

Bad news for his teenage daughter.

“Can I help or should I just stay here filling up the coffee pot?” you ask sourly, perched on the kitchen bench. 

Your dad grunts.

It’s not fair, you know. He’s been flat out for a week and Grace, his nurse, is on the other side of the river so it’s not even like she can fill out the forms. But, God, if he’d just let you go upstairs while he works. Why does he think you’d tear up the house if you’re left alone? Surely you could convince him that Haley and Jess can come over, there’s a bunch of board games you guys haven’t played that would pass the time. Or you could just watch Grease. 

Okay, maybe that’s why he won’t let you upstairs. Because he’s sick of a full dance routine upstairs while he tries to deal with patients in a calm manner.

“I’m sorry to tell you sir,” you imagine him saying, having to pause between foot stomps and over enthusiastic ‘OO HOO HOOs’ between your ‘you’re the one that I want’s.

“There’s a kid in the waiting room,” he says as he drains his coffee, pulling a face because it’s a fresh pot. Fresh pots are steaming hot, not lukewarm.

“Congratulations?”

“Go talk to him,” he says. “I have patients.”

“So I’m supposed to go talk to a sick kid?”

“You said you wanted to help.”

“Am I going to get sick?”

He glares at you and you sigh. 

It’s not giving up. 

It is giving up, just a little. You grab one of Grace’s blank clipboards because it makes you look important and drag your feet out into the waiting room.

You know who your dad means immediately. He’s in an oversized, threadbare, red jumper. It’s pulled down over his hands and he’s slumped in the chair until he’s in a banana shape. 

He’s not a patient, you’ve seen him come in every now and then with his dad. His dad’s got… something. Lung cancer, you remember, because your dad fought to get an experimental trial all the way out to Clearriver so he wouldn’t have to go into the city every week.

“Hi,” you say softly as you reach him. Despite the almost bare waiting room (you hadn’t realised how late in the day it was) you still felt like you had to whisper. 

He startles, unfolding himself quickly so he’s almost bolt up right. You smirk. 

“You’re an Eddie’s boy?” Only the boys from the Edmund boarding school act like that.

He stammers. It’s funny to watch.

“How did you guess that?” he asks.

“Didn’t guess, it was the way you reacted. With the whole ‘sitting up straight’, like you’re supposed to be on attention all the time.”

“Huh.”

“I went to Mary’s until two years ago.”

“Where do you go now?”

You point outside. It’s in the wrong direction of the school but it’s in the right direction of the road that takes you there. He nods.

“I’m going there on Monday,” he says, dropping his eyes from your gaze.

You stick your hand under his nose to shake. “Y/n Y/l/n.”

He hesitates then shakes it. “Aaron Hotchner.”

“Aaron’s a nice name.”

“Thanks. I didn’t choose it.”

“Can I sit with you?”

He nods and shuffles in his seat like he’s making room even though all the chairs are individual ones. 

“The rain’s pretty bad,” you say. The moment you said it, you regret it.Only boring adults talk about the weather with strangers.

“Yeah it’s driving mom stir crazy. She doesn’t like taking Sean out in the rain.” He picks at his thumbnail. “He’s only one.”

“Oh! You’re Elizabeth’s son!” It tumbles out before you can truly catch it. Aaron snorts.

“That’s me, the troublesome child.”

“Nah, she loves you.” She does, she always talks about ‘her beautiful son, Aaron’ whenever she’s in for Sean’s appointments. It’s all anyone hears throughout the entire waiting room. I think she’d bring in a picture of you to put on the wall if Grace gave her the opportunity.” You glance at him. His face is completely downturned. “It’d be nice if she told you once in a while, right?”

“Yeah.”

You nod. 

“Are you new to Clearriver?” he asks.

“I moved here when I was eleven. Dad only opened up the practice last year.”

“I’ve never seen you around.”

“That’s because I was at Saint Mary’s, brainiac. The boarding school across from Eddies? If school isn't on, I’m mostly out at the Brooks farm or in DC with my not-uncle. Dad’s with the marines. Sometimes.” You don’t feel like explaining your family to him.

“Not-uncle?” Aaron asks, ignoring the rest.

“Dad’s friend. He’s the closest thing I’ve got to an uncle. He’s okay. He’s Italian.”

“He’s Italian,” Aaron echoes in a mock-horrified voice. It’s the first time he’s properly smiled at you, you think. “Do you like DC?”

“No. It’s busy and it smells bad.”

“I don’t think it’s so bad. We went there for mock trials.”

“Last year?”

“Yeah.”

“Wait! You were the defence!” 

The room of four other people falls even quieter than the silence of a doctor’s waiting room, Mrs. Turner looking at you like you’ve offended her. You raise a hand in a small apology. 

“Does that make you the prosecutor that squashed us with that closing statement?” Aaron says, dropping his voice.

“Hell yes.”

“You were incredible.”

“You were better, you should be a lawyer. I only won that because I was too scared to lose.”

“Isn’t that what they want?”

“No I hate law. And lawyers.”

“So you hate me?”

“No. Not yet. Good competition, I can’t hate competition. Uncle Dave says you should love competition. I think it’s like that ‘love everyone’ shit.”

“Your dad lets you swear?” Aaron asks, brow furrowing.

“No. If he hears me I’ll be grounded for a week but I don’t think that’s any different than all this rain. Can’t go anywhere anyway.” You flick at a fluff ball that lands on your knee. “Do you always come with your dad?”

“Yeah, Mom doesn’t want him to drive home by himself. She says she’s fine with Sean, but she’s struggling.”

“Dad says having kids is hard.”

“Is your mom around?”

The doors open and Mr. Hotchner shuffles his way out. Saved by the tall, wiry, old man that holds himself high but always looks exhausted. Aaron hesitates to rise, probably because he has asked you a question. He seems polite like that. But there’s something else in it as well.

“Maybe if we’re friends I’ll tell you about it. But no, she’s not.” You stand before he does, giving him a small nod. “It was nice to meet you, Aaron.”

“You too, y/n.”

You watch him go to his father, taking the car keys, letting him lean on him without leaning at all. A proud man. He’s a lawyer, you know that. He’s always wearing his suit because reputation and public opinion is important.

He scowls at you, but it hasn’t got any energy in it. That’s probably the chemo. 

You watch them go down the car, the methodical and slow loading of Mr. Hotchner in the car.

“Sweetie Pumpkin,” Mrs. Turner says, tapping your arm with her arthritic fingers. “He left his bag.”

She points under the chair and you thank her, swinging it over one shoulder and using the clipboard as an umbrella because there isn’t one in the entrance hall. (How, you’ll never know). The trees shed the last of their rain droplets, but the air is so heavy you won’t be surprised if it rains again within the hour.

“Aaron!” you call as he tries to get the truck’s engine to turn. You slip on the last stone step, catching yourself before you splay yourself on the ground and straight into the mud puddles. “Bag,” you add, giving him a smug smile as you stop sliding around.

“Thank-you,” he breathes (you can tell from his face), and motions for you to throw it into the back seat.

“I’ll see you at school?” you say as you throw the bag into the backseat.

“Yes you will,” Mr. Hotchner says angrily. “Now close the door.”

Nice man, you think sarcastically.

“See you,” Aaron says sadly. You wave as you close the door and step back from the truck. It splutters to life. 

“HEY!” Haley yells from behind you. “Dad dropped me off! I’ve got Grease!”

You turn to see Haley on the porch, waving the video manically.

“Let’s go before the rain starts and takes the power out!” she continues. 

“Okay, okay, okay, I’m coming.” You hop up the stairs two at a time, biting your lip as you slip on a stone like you haven’t learnt from before. 

Up the stairs inside, Haley discarding her overnight back at the end of your bed and grabbing everything she needs to set up Grease. 

“There’s chips in my bag,” Haley says. “Jess bought them for a date but she cancelled because of the rain.”

“Did she cancel because of the rain or because she didn’t want go?”

Haley shrugs. “I don’t care, we got free chips.”

“Hales, do you know anything about the Hotchners?”

“The lawyer guy? On the other side of town? Nothing. Mom doesn’t like him, apparently he cheats on his wife or something. Whenever Mom and Dad fight she’ll wag her finger and go ‘now, now, as long as we’re not like that Hotchner man’.”

“Did you know he has two sons?”

“Two?” Haley shakes her head. “He has the cute little blonde boy, he goes to the play group Jess volunteers at. Okay, movie movie movie.”

“He has a son too, our age,” you add. “He was at that mock trial.”

Haley shrugs. She pushes your door mostly closed, open the width of the door stop. As was the deal with your dad.

“I don’t care, mock trial, shmock trial,” Haley says. “Not to sound brash. I want to watch Grease, eat chips, and makeout.”

She jumps onto your bed, bouncing with the mattress, and grins, grabbing for you. You can’t argue with that.

“He starts at school this week,” you add, tearing the chip packet open. Haley turns the TV up and pokes her tongue out at you.

“We’ll talk about it after Grease. We have all night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this installment is going to be FUN we're weaving some modern with some passed for a REASon (other than I miss Haley). 
> 
> Hello, and welcome to a new installment. <3 <3 <3 welcome.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Present Day~

It’s wrong, you know it’s wrong, but she’s here. Saskia’s here, and Haley, and you think it’s your dad’s lounge room back in Clearriver but the noise of DC is buzzing around you. And, god, you’re younger. The chipped, uneven nails, flaking nail polish. Your legs are covered in thorn cuts from running up the backtrack whenever Aaron’s truck broke down. (Which was all the time).

“Am I dead?” you frown, and like it’s correcting itself. Haley goes from muted tones to obnoxious pinks, yellows and greens that Haley NEVER wore. Not ever. She hated bold colours, always. Even when they were in fashion. Full latex body suits? No. Bold colours? Yes.

“Uh, no? Sugar cookie?” Haley pushes the plate towards you.

Wrong.

Right but wrong. You know that feeling where everything tries to fix itself? When you feel safe but have no reason to because everything is wrong? It’s that kind of right. The worst kind of dream. 

Your head fills with ‘Aaron’ just his name, over and over again, until your head feels like it’s full of wet cotton wool.

But other than that, it feels like a nice dream.

“Where’s Aaron?”

“Hmm?”

“Aaron.” No recognition from Haley. “Hotchner. Mock Trial. Penzance. Your boyfriend.”

“Dunno, come eat cookies.”

So you sit on the gross shag carpet that really needs to be cleaned, and take a sugar cookie. A rainbow, made with letting it cool down so the icing is all runny. 

Saskia.

Wrong Saskia. Wrong year, wrong Saskia, but before you can address it you’re home. Wrong home, DC home, Dad’s home, there’s someone in the kitchen--

Mom raises her finger to her lips. She’s got her hair pulled back, out of her face, mopping up… blood? With a wooden handled mop. You’ve never owned a mop in that colour.

“Go back to bed, Sweetheart,” she whispers. She doesn’t put the mop down. Mop the floor, blood on, blood off. “Go back to bed.”

“Mom, what’re you doing?” You try to grab the mop but your hand goes straight through.

“Back to bed.”

“Mom?”

“Hush, you’ll wake your father, he’s been working so hard, he has to go back to base in the morning.”

“Mom, you’re putting blood everywhere.” 

It doesn’t look like she’s listening. She’s probably not. Of course she’s not.

“Mom, stop.”

Someone runs past the back door. 

Saskia.

“Sassy!”

But the blood’s too thick, and too slippery, and you’re falling over yourself to try and get to the back door, and then you’re starfished out on the kitchen floor, slipping every time you try to get up like you’re at an ice skating rink. 

“Call your Uncle Dave,” Mom whispers, brushing her fingers against your face. “He’ll know what to do. He’ll help you. I have to go.”

She stands and walks effortlessly across the blood. No slippage. She picks Saskia up and closes the door, oblivious to all you screaming to bring her back. Something groans.

Someone.

You try to stand but you slip and bash your chin against the kitchen counter. You can taste the blood you’re covered in. And then there’s Aaron, choking on his own blood, barely moving, covered in stab wounds.

Aaron.

Saskia.

“Aaron!” He squelches beneath your hands as you try to find the source of the bleeding. “Hey, hey, hey, you’re okay, just stay with me, Aaron. Mom took Sassy, you have to stay with me I can’t find her without you, Aaron, please--”

He splutters beneath you and you wake, shooting up from the pillows with a muffled scream. Your cheeks are drenched with tears and you’re not sure when you started crying. 

“Aaron?” you splutter, reaching out for him. He mumbles something as you pat his leg, up his chest to check that he’s not bleeding. 

“Hey,” Aaron says groggily. His whole demeanor changes when he sees you, sitting up immediately and wiping your cheeks. “Hey, are you okay?”

You try to say something but it comes out all garbled and you’re crying again. He pulls you into him, rocking you softly. It’s a while before you can breathe normally again.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” you whisper. “I’m okay. I’ll just get up, wash all the blood off me, I think the kids still need their lunches packed.”

“Babe, it’s three--blood?”

But you’re climbing out of bed, grabbing clothes, and Aaron’s following you, grabbing at the back of your pj’s.

“Talk to me,” he says softly as he pulls you into his arms. “Bad dreams or no, talk to me. You’re not okay.”

“Aaron, it’s all over me, I need a shower.”

There’s no blood on you, you know that, you’re looking at yourself and it’s not there but you can feel it. Slimy. Gross. Gross.

Gross.

Gross.

“Okay,” Aaron says softly. “We can have a shower, but you’re coming back to bed, it’s three in the morning.”

You’re barely aware of your own body, even when Aaron’s got you back in your pj’s and into bed. So tired. How you ever thought you could just get up and make lunches is beyond you as Aaron pulled you into his chest.

“Why were you covered in blood?” he murmurs, stroking your hair. 

“Mom,” you whisper. “She was putting blood everywhere I couldn’t get to Sassy and then you were there on the floor and--”

“Sorry,” Aaron says, cutting you off. “Sorry. But you’re safe. Here.”

He pries you out of bed, guiding you down the corridor, and pushes open the door to Saskia’s room. She’s asleep, wrapped around her octopus, humming softly in her sleep.

“Saskia’s okay,” he whispers softly. “She’s okay.”

You stand there, watching her, then nod slowly. “She’s okay,” you confirm. 

“Come back to bed.”

***

You’ve got a pounding headache in the morning. Aaron hands you aspirin and a glass of water, halfway over making oatmeal for Jack and Saskia (well, oatmeal for Jack, Saskia’s munching on her cereal and going “ew, no, not oatmeal”).

“Do you want some?” Aaron offers, and you find yourself repeating your daughter’s sentiment about Aaron’s oatmeal. When the kids aren’t looking he cups your cheek. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you smile softly. “You?”

He responds with a simple, soft, kiss. Enough of a yes. At some point the nightmares are going to stop, you both keep repeating that over and over again as the nightmares keep happening. They’d gotten better until Aaron had come back from the Prince of Darkness case. Then his had gotten worse, and your own mind had managed to weasel it’s way into matching his own nightmares.

“Mmm, who’s taking us to school?” Saskia says through a mouthful of cereal.

“I am,” you say proudly. “I have to meet with Director Vance.”

“Again?” she sighs dramatically. “Does he not know how to do his job?”

Aaron hides his laugh through a cough, shaking his head. 

“He just wants some pointers, Sweets.”

“He’s a di-rec-torrrr,” Saskia complains. “Doesn’t he have like a thousand agents who can give him pointers. Dad, you’d give him pointers, right?”

“Sassy, Mom is very talented, and sometimes adults need help,” Aaron says as he pours her a glass of orange juice. 

“How do you become director and still need to ask for help?”

“Everybody should ask for help,” Jack says matter-of-factly. “No matter how old they are. Even Dad asks for help sometimes.”

Saskia just snorts and shakes her head. Thankfully, she doesn’t say anything more. You don’t feel like having a moral argument between a five-year-old and almost-twelve-year-old this early in the morning.

“Well, eat up, ‘cause you both still need to get dressed.”

Saskia pulls a face at you but she’s grinning all the same. 

“How does it feel to be contracted out?” Aaron teases, wrapping himself around you so he can dramatically drop the spoon into the sink.

“It is very nice to be telling people how they should do their job without having to go out onto the field,” you smile. 

Budget cuts had your team dissolved, however quick thinking on your and Billy’s part had your team of four being completely invaluable to the FBI (despite being dissolved) and getting contracted out to other agencies. 

Alannah’s based with NSA, and Homeland Security after Justin had spurted out conspiracy theories that almost had him locked up. You’d drawn the short straw, spending your time between NCIS, CID and OSI. Probably because they wouldn’t have appreciated Billy’s rich british accent or brash personality.

“Do you want us to pick you up after school? You can head back to the office after dinner.”

Aaron scrunches his face up, thinking, and then nods.

“Yeah, can you drop me off on the way to school?”

“Go tell the kids,” you giggle. He nods eagerly like he’s genuinely excited. You have to laugh when there’s a “YAY” from Saskia and Jack down the corridor.

***

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Morgan confesses as he paces your kitchen. 

He came over to fix a kitchen cabinet after work, and he’s ended up pulling your kitchen sink apart, putting it back together, doing the same with the bathroom, and now he’s pulling the fridge forward to check the wiring.

“I don’t want to hear that while you’re playing with my fridge.”

“I’m not playing, I’m fixing.”

You swear it’s becoming a bi-daily event since the Prince of Darkness case. He says he’s fine, but then he comes over with some potato bake (Saskia’s obsessed with it) and he plays cards with her until Aaron says it’s time for bed, lets Jack sit on his lap and decide what cards to play while Derek tries to teach Saskia poker.

Saskia already knows how to play poker. Spencer taught her almost four year ago, but she’s got enough brain to see that it means a lot to him, so she pretends like she forgets every time. Even Jack’s caught on, but he gets enough amusement out of making Morgan lose poker so he doesn’t say anything. 

California was tough. You know that. You’re eternally grateful you didn’t work that case. Aaron came home from the case and moved Jack and Saskia into your room, and didn’t let them go for days. Saskia and Jack milked it for as long as they could, begging Aaron to stay home and skip school. You half expected him to say no, but then you came home after a meeting with the Director of NCIS and there they all were.

Jack, Saskia, Aaron, under the biggest blanket fort you’ve ever seen in your life. Cutting into pancakes like it wasn’t 2pm on a school day. Aaron knew from one look that he shouldn’t have done it, but the way he just looked… better… after that day, you can’t bear to tell him off for it. 

And then Morgan started to come over. Sometimes Aaron sets up one of the camper beds in the study on the off chance that Morgan’ll stay the night. The three of you don’t mention it, and thankfully the team haven’t commented on it either. If anyone knows what’s going on, it’s Garcia, only because the two of you have a habit of messaging each other a simple ‘Derek’s with me’ before you go to bed. 

“So,” you try again. “Don’t know what you’re doing with my fridge, or don’t know what you’re doing with Ellie.”

“Both,” he says. “The hell is this?” He points to the black void behind the fridge that seems to be rattling.

You shrug. “Aaron came with the fridge. Move in, free fridge, didn’t ask questions,” you say, taking back all claims of ‘my’ fridge in one foul swoop.

“Next time ask questions,” Morgan snorts. He looks to the corridor where Aaron’s switched off the hallway light to the protest of two should-be-asleep children who are arguing that they asked for the light to stay on.

“Night,” is all Aaron says in response and there’s a pause before Jack and Saskia echo it. 

“Hey,” he says as he presses his hand to your back and kisses you softly. “I’m going to head back to the office for a couple of hours, you good here?”

“Yeah, Jack and Saskia are in bed, and Derek goes to sleep when I tell him to,” you wink at Morgan who just shakes his head. “Just a couple of hours, though, I need the car in the morning.”

“I’ll be back before midnight.”

“He means one,” you stage whisper to Morgan. Aaron rolls his eyes and kisses you again, grabbing the keys from the tray and twirling it around his finger.

“Don’t break my fridge, Morgan,” Aaron says as way of goodbye and then he’s heading out.

“Please break the fridge,” you moan. “That thing’s older than the big bang.” You watch him fiddle with something. “So what’s got you all worked up about Ellie?” 

“All of it,” Morgan confesses. He drags his tool box towards him, grabs some tools, and does something (you’re not sure what) and the fridge stops rattling.

“Did you break it?”

“I fixed it,” Derek says. “How do you live with all that rattling?”

“I dunno, tells me that it’s on.”

“Keeping food cold should tell you that it’s on.”

“Do you want to talk about Ellie?” You grab two mugs, motioning between the kettle and Aaron’s alcohol supply that he’s moved to a locked cabinet. (‘You don’t need to lock it up’ ‘Saskia said “attaboy” the other day and you used to say that before you stole liquor from your dad, she needs to be at least 16 before she starts that’).

Derek nods, pushes the fridge back into place, and fills the kettle up. He waits until it starts boiling before turning to look at you. He knows something you don’t know, he’s got that look about him. 

“Do you ever worry about the kids we save, once cases are over?”

“Yeah,” you respond. He knows you do. “Sometimes there are kids I get Garcia to put a watch on. Nothing weird or anything like that, just… I dunno, I want to know if they get lost in the system. I don’t want them to get lost.”

“Like Adelaide?” Morgan asks, grabbing two tea bags.

“Addy? Yeah. I would’ve adopted her in a heartbeat. I still send her birthday presents, Christmas presents, she sends stuff for Saskia.” 

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because her parents are still alive. And she’s happy. She has a big sister who never lets her out of her sight.”

“They’re trying to find a foster family for Ellie.”

“I know.”

“She seems happy. She texts me every day on the way to school.”

“I know. Sugar? Milk?”

“Thanks.” He grabs the sugar from you and puts practically two grains into his cup then says “this isn’t coffee” and gives it back to you. “Got somewhere we can talk?”

He motions to the kids hallway and you smirk. If anyone knows when the kids are awake, it’s Morgan.

“Aaron’s office,” you offer. “He’s not in there.”

“That’s because he’s at the big boy office,” Morgan says and you think there’s a bitterness to his words that you wouldn’t have expected from Morgan. Haley, sure, but not Morgan. That joking bitterness. 

“Does he go to the office often?” Morgan asks, following you down to Aaron’s office which already has the desk moved out the way and the bed’s already out. 

“We have a Monday, Wednesday, Thursday agreement. As long as he comes home for dinner he can go back to the office.”

“What happens every other day of the week?”

“The couch is comfortable because he sure as hell isn’t getting the bed.” 

Morgan pulls out a chair and slides it to you, taking a seat on the edge of the camper bed. 

“I don’t think Prentiss likes me talking to her,” Derek says quietly.

“Emily doesn’t like you talking to her?”

“No, no, no, Ellie. She doesn’t like me talking to Ellie.”

“She wants to keep you safe,” you say softly. “She wants to protect your heart, I guess.”

“That’s exactly what I expect the wife of my boss to say,” Morgan laughs. “Protect your heart.”

“Alright, Derek Morgan, I can kick you out.” You watch him carefully as he shakes his head and traces the rim of his tea mug. “Are you okay?”

“No,” he confesses. “Do you think I’m… Am I being stupid if I say I’d take her in? Become a foster parent if she needs it?”

“Isn’t she in the L.A. district?”

“Yeah. But, I dunno, hypothetically, if she needed it. If her case got moved over here.”

“I don’t think that’s stupid, Derek. You promised Spicer you’d keep Ellie safe, and if you did the same thing for Sassy and Jack… I’d like to think you would do the same thing for Sassy and Jack.”

“I don’t think the team like it.”

“Derek, at some point you have to say ‘fuck what other people think’ and do it because you know that it’s right.”

“Yeah. Maybe you’re right.”

“I know I’m right,” you say with a smirk. 

“Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

Derek groans, bouncing his leg. “Has Hotch said anything about JJ? Strauss, him and JJ have been weird all month.”

“No, nothing,” you say, shaking your head. “I can ask him.”

“No, it’s okay, but thank you.”

“It’s okay, Derek, really.”

You talk until the tea is done, chatting about things that aren’t all that important. The front door opens and you hear Aaron toss the keys onto the desk by the door. There’s a groan and you’re pretty sure it’s Aaron realising Jack and Saskia haven’t put their shoes away.

“I should go,” Derek says. “Penelope wants me to fix her shower, then I’m heading home.”

“Okay,” you respond, taking his cup. “Text me when you’re home.”

“Yeah. You should be a shrink.” Derek clasps your shoulder with a shit eating smirk on his face.

“Derek Morgan, if you want to pay me I will not be against it. There’s a tray on the kitchen counter, if money turns up there I will not complain.”

“Why does my fridge not rattle anymore?” Aaron says with a frown. He’s fiddling with the seal of the fridge like he knows what he’s going to find.

“Because Derek fixed it.”

He seems to get all dark and gloomy, but it’s all cute, sweet, and innocent. It’s just playful.

“Thanks,” Aaron says, shaking Derek’s hand.

“You just had to ask, Man.”

When Derek’s gone, Aaron washes up the cups and puts them in the drainer. He looks like he’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders, a weight that lifts when you wiggle your way in front of him and kiss him. 

“Have the kids been good?”

“Sleeping like babies.”

“Good, good,” he smiles, kissing your nose. “Ready for bed?” he whispers.

“Yeah. You’re home early.” You squish his cheeks playfully. “I’m not complaining, though.”

“I didn’t want you to sleep alone,” he whispers. He presses his forehead to yours and closes his eyes. “I didn’t want to sleep alone,” he confesses.

“Never,” you whisper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mom has nightmares that they brush under the carpet, and Derek Morgan is strugglingggg. (We did a time jump canon wise, just thought this stuff was more interesting.   
> Also lots of exciting things are happening in this part, lots of things and the present/past chapters are going to make sense!! they intersect at some point dw.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, at the wedding: mom doesn't know gideon  
> me, opening this fic not 5 chapters later: dear reader, mom and gideon know each other.
> 
> *~*~~* 16 year old mom and Haley ~*~~*~*~

"This is really good," Haley tells your dad over dinner. He smiles proudly. 

"Thank-you, Haley. How's your family?"

"Mhmm, good, they've been well. This rain is crazy, though, Dad reckons we're only going to get money out of the cows this year he thinks everything else is going to be rotted."

"If your mom needs work again I've still got some things she can do," he offers. 

Ultimately, that's how Haley and you became friends. Your dad offers a bunch of farmers work around the house, anything from housework, gardening, to full renovations out the back, when the farms aren't bringing in much money. You met Haley because her mom was cleaning the waiting room and Haley was bored out of her mind. 

"Thanks, I'll let her know." Haley mushes her food around her plate. "Dad hurt his arm, though, I can't convince him to come in to see you but I think it's going to get worse. It's all red and agitated and Jess can't get it to calm down."

"I can drop you home tomorrow?" Your dad offers. "This little Missy, too, it'll give me an excuse to look at it."

"Thanks." 

There's a myriad of small talk until dinner is finished and your Dad lets you both go upstairs, not without a longing look to the dumb glass display cabinet that has a myriad of… things, in it. Mostly just things his friends brought whenever they were over, gifts from these… cases your dad’s friends solve.

You shouldn’t think so lowly of them, they’re really lovely and they’re great fun to talk to, but solving crimes via personality choices or something (you zone out when they start) is all just a bunch of mumbo jumbo that is too much for you to handle. And boring, god it’s so boring.

“Are David and Jason coming over?” you ask warily. If they are it’s going to be a long, long weekend full of arguing about whether they should bird watch or go hunting, and ultimately end up with them all over town and not doing a single thing together.

“Yeah. Maybe,” your dad responds as he grabs the dinner plates up. “But you come first, Sweetness. You want them out, they go.”

“If they’re here you have to tell Jason that he needs to lock the door if he leaves at five in the morning. I get he wants to look at the birds, but that door doesn’t stay closed when it’s not locked and I don’t want your patients coming into the house. They always take the good tea and ask me how school is.”

“Yeah, sure,” he smiles. “I’ll tell them to keep the noise down, too, but if they hear you and Haley there’s no guarantee they’ll be quiet at all.”

“I know,” you reassure him. “Maybe if they can use the downstairs bathroom? I hate David’s cologne.”

“Don’t we all,” he grumbles but there’s a smile in there. “I’ll let them know.”

“Thanks.” 

You push the door to your room open as Haley’s looking on your shelves for something. 

“Dad’s friends are probably going to turn up,” you relay to her. “What’re you looking for?”

“You’ve got so much stuff, where’d this little bird come from?” Haley says, plucking a small ceramic bird from your shelf. “It’s so cute.”

“Uhh, Dad’s friend Jason. He’s always picking up birds for me. I think I said I liked one on a book he had and he’s bought them for me ever since. It’s weird but it’s nice to be remembered, I guess.”

“They’re really nice.”

“Yeah.”

Haley pats the head of the little ceramic bird then puts it back on your shelf. “Did you want to talk about that new kid? The Hotchner kid? What’s his name?”

“Aaron,” you fill in for her. You jump onto your bed and a bunch of toys get dislodged, flying up in the air dramatically. Haley dives to your bed, pretending like she’s going to catch them all like she’s in some kung fu movie. She only managed to catch one, sliding over the blankets until she’s lying right in front of you.

“Aaron,” Haley repeats, nodding to herself. “Nice name.”

“He knows, he says he didn’t choose it himself.”

“None of us choose our names,” Haley snorts. “How’d you meet him?”

“Downstairs.” You point to the practice and push Haley’s hair back from her face. “I don’t think he’s got any friends. He’s from Eddy’s.”

“Then he really doesn’t have any friends,” Haley snorts. “Do you think he’d get along with Felix?”

“He’d get along with us.”

“I shall make it my mission to make him befriend me and make it sound like his idea.”

“That’s my girl,” you grin.

“Is he good looking?” Haley asks, scrunching up her face.

“He’s a skeleton with skin,’ you say. Which is both biologically and visually correct. “He could do with a few rounded meals, as Dad would say.”

“So he’s not Danny?” Haley asks, face downturned.

“You’re not going to find any John Travolta lookalike in Clearriver, Haley, even if you took drugs.”

She pouts at you. “Do you think we could watch Grease again?”

“We have a thousand movies, Haley.”

“I’ll let you play The Game of Life and name all the people and come up with stories for them?” 

You launch out of bed and grab the box, letting it fall back down on the mattress.

“Let’s watch Grease again.”

***

Quiet is not in the vocabulary of your Dad’s friends.

They’re obviously enjoying each other, and you can’t blame them for that, but you can blame them for how loud they are. Their car practically screams at every bump, and they decided to park out the back of all places (that’s fine, really) but you had to listen to that damned car scrape over the tree roots to get into the driveway.

Haley rolls over, pressing her face into your shoulder. “Is that them?” she grumbles.

“There’s only them that can be this loud, this late at night.”

“There’s Felix.”

“He’s looking after Cat.”

“Right.”

You both reluctantly climb out of bed, pulling the curtains back to look down on the three of them reuniting. Once, your mom had called them the three musketeers. Although, David hadn’t found the humour in it. You might have been six, but you do remember sitting at the table while David Rossi explained there were four musketeers, while your mom just went ‘yeah yeah yeah’ while handing out dinner rolls.

It’s Jason that sees the two of you. 

He is always looking up, for the birds, you know? He raises a hand and waves. You wave back. And like you’ve conveyed it silently, he tells David to “shut the hell up” in the loudest voice you’ve ever heard.

***

At breakfast it feels like you’ve been stampeded by old people. David’s made French toast, which is more than you and Haley would have done, and Jason’s scribbling something down in his ever present notebook. You’ve already explained to Haley that Jason doesn’t speak much, not unless he really wants to, but David will talk your ear off about everything and nothing.

“Where’d Dad go?” you ask as David pushes the syrup across the table with too much force. You catch it just before it goes flying off the table and smashing onto the floor.

“An emergency patient up river,” David says. He always says things that should stress you in the calmest voice known to man.

“Up river?” Haley asks with a frown. “How far up river? Did he take Grace with him?”

“If Grace is the redhead that turned up with his medical bag, then yes,” Dave smiles.

“She introduced herself as Grace,” Jason says. David holds up his hands defensively and you slide her the syrup. 

“So have you both got plans for today?” Dave asks.

You shake your head. “If it isn’t raining we might go down and see how wide the river’s gotten if you want to come with? And maybe we’ll go into the main street and see if those burgers are still there.”

There’s a burger truck run by a bunch of graduates who think they’re going to make a lot of money, but the burgers are subpar and the only reason why they’re getting any income at all is because the pub doesn’t serve food anymore since the kitchen lit on fire.

“How many bird species are down there?” Jason doesn’t look up from his notebook when he asks.

“Jess reckons like a bunch of vermin birds,” Haley says through a mouthful of toast. “She says that they all travel up the river from the city and ruin all our food.”

“That’s not--” Jason starts with a frown, but David cuts him off.

“We’ll come down if that’s okay with you.”

“Sure, but you’re going to have to borrow Dad’s boots, those shoes aren’t going to make it at all.” You point playfully to his tartan slippers which earns you a glare that should only come from a parent. “Are you guys going to go hunting? Hales has got a couple of hunting dogs that haven’t been out in a while.”

Haley nods eagerly. “Oh, yeah, we haven’t been able to pay anyone to go out hunting but we’ve got a bunch of deer, a bunch of ammunition, and Dad can’t go out at the moment ‘cause of his arm, so if you guys want to go out we’d let you keep whatever you catch.”

Jason looks like the world’s fallen apart.

David, however, looks overjoyed.

“And, um, we have birds nesting in one of the barns but Jess doesn’t know what type they are,” Haley offers for Jason. “She doesn’t want to smoke them out incase they’re all important or something.”

“I can check them out for you,” Jason says like he’s finally found a purpose in life.

“Thanks!” Haley smiles. “Brooks save the day, there’s something for everyone.”

“And what about for Bert here?” David says. It’s followed by an awful impersonation of Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street.

“Oh, he’s gotta look at Dad’s arm. He hurt it and stuff.”

“You really do have something for everyone,” Dave says in awe.

***

Which is, of course, how you all end up around the outdoor table at the Brooks’s house. Dave’s still out hunting, but Jess and Jason are hunched over a bird's nest they wrangled out of the barn because it was abandoned. Jason’s trying to teach Jess how to feed the birds, but she really is better at dealing with cows than tiny things with beaks and wings.

“Sweet tea?” Haley’s mom, Amy, asks as she joins you all. You and Haley nod enthusiastically.

“You have some very intelligent daughters,” Jason comments. He’s trying to be polite. His politeness always comes across slightly skewed, it’s just the way he is.

“Roy and I wanted sons,” Amy starts. You, Haley and Jess know this story. It’s all you ever hear. “We were blessed with two beautiful daughters, and we’ve raised them all the ways under the sun.”

“Best way to go,” Jason says and one of the baby birds hops into his hand. His face lights up immediately. 

“We freak all the boys out in science because we like pulling things apart,” Haley grins. “One time Jess took this boy out to the cows during birthing season and he hasn’t come back.”

There’s a disapproving grunt from Amy. Jason grins from ear to ear.

“If he can’t watch new life being brought into the world, you don’t deserve him,” Jason says matter-of-factly.

“Slight infection, but other than that Amy, Roy’s going to be fine,” you dad smiles as he comes out. He frowns when he looks at Jason. “Put the bird down, you don’t know where that’s been.”

“In the barn,” comes the chorus of you, Haley, Jess and Jason. 

“S’pose I walked into that one.” He takes the sweet tea from Amy gratefully. “Do you want me to pick up any school supplies for the girls? Me and Sweetness are heading into DC over the weekend.”

“We are? Hales and I wanted to do something after church.”

“Like what?”

“I dunno, anything. Milkshake, run a marathon, stage a crime.”

“Interesting you said ‘stage a crime’,” Jason notes as he puts the bird back into the nest. “And not ‘commit a crime’.”

“I can’t admit to committing a crime in front of law enforcement,” you defend. “Besides, I’m only practicing for the day I commit a really bad crime.”

“Make sure it’s a serial killing,” Jason says like it’s an everyday request. “David and I will make sure you’ll stay out of prison.”

“How? Are you guys lawyers?” Jess asks with a frown.

“Nah, they’ll shoot me and leave me for dead.”

There’s a groan of protest around the table and you shrug, leaning back in your chair happily.

“Why are we going to DC?” you whine.

“Dave needs him to look for something,” Jason says. “Or look at something. I don’t know.”

“A body. He wants me to look at a body.”

“Not my case, not my brain space.” 

“Who taught him that,” Jess snorts. You raise your hand guiltily. “I’ll be in town on Sunday afternoon, I can hang around and pick you up if you want. You guys want to practice for Penzance auditions, right? I can drop you home after dinner?”

“Please Dad?”you whine, Haley joining in, both of you clasping your hands together like you’re in prayer.

He considers the two of you.

He considers for so long you think he might say no.

“Fine,” he says at last.

The cheering you and Haley do can be heard all the way back in town, you swear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was going to say something important, but i forgot, so i hope you enjoyed. xxxx


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was going to be a present day chapter but it really is ~not~. Have some 16 year olds again.

So far you’ve not had any classes with Aaron, but you’ve seen him passing in the halls. It’s impossible not to, it’s impossible to get to any class without pumping into anyone in the horse shoe classes. Perks of being in such a small school, you guess. The only class rooms that look outside are the science labs (they’re away from the main building on the off chance someone blows something up) and the home ec room (for the same reason). 

So you’re not all that surprised to see Aaron struggling with his books coming out of Home Ec as you’re trying to ditch your bag outside while still holding onto the textbooks that you probably should have left in the lab. He gives you a small wave and a tight smile. You return the motion.

Haley’s desperately trying to connect the Bunsen burner, her hair hanging over her shoulder as she struggles with the matches. You drop your books onto the bench, turn off the gas tap, and slap your spare (Haley allocated) elastic against your wrist.

“Can I borrow that?” Haley asks with a gasp, reaching out for it. “I forgot mine.”

“I can see that,” you tease. “Why were you even trying to light it? Roberts isn’t here yet, I’m not late.”

“You’re never late.”

The window next to your bench opens, a hand shooting out to grab a pen from your pile of books.

“Fuck off, Felix,” you respond without looking up.

“I dare you to light Haley’s hair on fire.”

“Put it back, Felix. And get away from the window. Mr. Roberts will kill you and use you for an experiment if he sees you doing it again.”

“Let him,” Haley laughs. “It would be the most interesting thing to happen in this town.”

“Nuh uh, Dad’s been keeping track of those Hotchner’s and the old man’s got his fingers in all the pies in town. Married and single. And their eldest joined our school earlier this week, bet he’s killer in the sack.”

“I can kill you and make it look like an accident.” You push him out the window by his forehead. 

“‘Can’ isn’t the same as ‘will’.”

“Haley, hand me your pen.”

Mr. Roberts clears his throat and Felix goes flailing backwards onto the concrete outside. Haley closes the window with a smug look on her face, waving smugly to him. He flips her off, then follows it up with a blown kiss before he’s sauntering off to meet up with more of his buddies.

“Can either of you two young ladies explain why Mr. Garza happened to be in the window?”

“I have no control over Mr. Garza’s actions,” you tell Mr. Roberts. He hums disapprovingly, the way only a parent could do.

“Mr. Garza,” Haley giggles, turning away from Mr. Roberts.

“Did either of you do your homework?”

You pick up both your books and splay them both out like you’re about to do a card trick. He does the tiniest, disapproving head shake, then begins his lesson.

Everything goes well, as much as a Science lesson can go well. That’s until Aaron passes the window, listening to Felix talk. You’d say they were both talking, but Aaron’s got his face set in a way that only happens when you’re forced into a one way conversation.

Felix waves, looking far too smug. He gives you two thumbs up and you’re about to flip him off when you smell something burning.

“Haley!” you yell in absolutely distress, realising her ponytail is now on fire. There’s a commotion as half the room starts loudly yelling and screaming (including Haley, who’s suddenly surprised by this development) and it’s barely a thought before you’re shoving Haley’s head into the sink and running the tap.

Her hair sizzles then goes out.

“What the hell, Hales?” 

She scrunches up her face angrily as she pats at her now singed hair. “Was that Aaron with Felix?”

“Did you just light your hair on fire?”

“He’s cute.”

“Haley!”

“What?!”

“You lit your hair on fire!”

“Oh, yeah, but did you see him?”

“He’s not worth lighting your hair on fire for!”

“Totally was.”

***

The theatre room smells like teenagers and still-wet black paint. People are reading through the scripts for Penzance while you’re on top of a milk crate, towering over Haley as you try to fix her hair. Jess is going to be so mad when she sees Haley’s new haircut.

“I could get a perm,” Haley gasps, reaching back to tap at your arm. You pause your cutting so you don’t cut it all zigzagged. “I could bleach it and look like Sandy.”

“First, Haley, there’s no hairdresser in town, and two we made a deal to stop either of us from bleaching our hair ever.”

“Unless we’re in a life threatening situation and we really have to change our appearance,” Haley corrects. 

Ben rolls his eyes at the two of you from across the room. You roll your eyes back at him.

“Oh, wait, if we’re doing Penzance do we get swords?” Haley says, lurching forward with her imaginary sword.

“HALEY!” you yell at her. You’re holding a large chunk of hair in one hand, the scissors in the other. She doesn’t seem to care, though, because she’s suddenly in an imaginary sword fight with Crystal as they run around the drama room.

“I can’t believe this woman,” you groan, tossing the scissors to the couch. Ben smirks at you.

“Are you on costuming or stage this time?” Ben asks.

“Uh, both, and if Luke doesn’t return to drama club I’m going to have to figure out how to get the lights to work ‘cause Felix isn’t allowed to help out this year.”

“Yeah, right, because he’s graduating.”

“You won’t even have to audition!” you hear Haley saying. She’s not in the room. Why is she no longer in the room? Crystal’s staring at her, mouth open. “We could use all the help we can get, plus we get time off classes and we get swords.”

“We never said anything about swords, Haley,” you call out to her.

“Oh, come on, he’d get a sword, right, look at him!” Haley smiles, pulling Aaron into the drama room with her. “Pirate material right here.”

Aaron looks like a lost puppy, but when he looks at Haley. God, he looks happy. Your dad used to look at your mom like that. 

“Yeah, stay,” you smile, beckoning him further into the drama room. Haley deserves someone who looks at her like that for the rest of her life. “We count as extra curricular stuff. And we look good on resumes.” He nods, you notice that he rubs his thumb and forefinger together while he takes in the room. “Plus we only rehearse on Mondays and Fridays,” you say like it’ll set his worries aside.

Apparently it does. He has this little, nervous smile that threatens to break over his face.

“And Jess can drop you home when she drops Y/n home, you’re close by right?” 

He hesitates, looking between the two of you. He’s not sure where you live.

“The practice,” Ben says. “She lives above the doctor’s.”

“You do?” Aaron asks, frowning.

“Yes she does!” Haley says so loudly it’s almost a yell. You’ve got no idea why that excites her so much.

“Wait, should we do introductions?” Crystal asks. Haley nods enthusiastically. “I’m Crystal.”

“Ben, set design.”

“Oh, but he’s going to be the lead this year,” Haley says. “I’m confident.”

“Alright, losers, what’re we all doing? Willy Wonka’s not coming today.” Matthew, Felix’s best friend, exclaims as he comes into the room. “The fuck is up with your hair, Brooks?”

“She lit it on fire,” you fill in for Haley and she’s suddenly aware that her haircut is less than desirable. 

“I, uh, I cut my Mom’s hair sometimes, if you don’t mind it short I can cut it?” Aaron offers. 

“We’ve only got y/n’s craft scissors,” Haley says.

“Yeah, I can work with that.”

When Aaron’s done, Haley’s got a whole new haircut, and Matthew whistles lowly. 

“Can you style it too, ___?” Matthew leaves a space open for Aaron to add his name.

“Aaron, and yeah. Sure.” 

“You think he can help you with costumes and hair?” Matthew asks you.

“Yeah, he sure can.”

And Aaron smiles brightly.

***

When the end of the week rolls around, it’s only David Rossi that turns up. Whenever he’s without Jason he acts like he’s got a stick up his ass, but he’s friends with your Dad and he makes him smile so you can’t say anything about it.

“Hey Tesoro,” he says as you run down the stairs to greet him. He grabs your cheeks, as though to kiss them, but remembers last second that you made a deal not to do that.

“Is everything okay?” you ask with a frown.

He totally gives him away by the way he looks nervously at the table. Where the case file seems to fit.

“Dave, Dad doesn’t work your cases. There’s barely enough funding to keep you and Jason afloat, and Dad lives out here.”

“I know, Tesoro, but this is different. It’s not a case we’re covering. It’s something else.”

“That’s what you always say and then someone goes and wins an award for a case you could have never have solved without Dad pointing out little things in all those autopsy photos.”

“I promise this isn’t like that,” David whispers.

“You’d better be good at keeping your promises,” you whisper back.

“I am.” 

The door to the main house swings open and your dad throws a bunch of stuff over the table, collapsing at it dramatically.

“Dave, I told you no files in the house,” he groans.

“It’s okay, Dad,” you smile like you haven’t just complained to David about it. “I haven’t seen the file, and I’ve seen worse things down at the practice.”

“You’ve never seen a dead body,” he says, pointing at you. “That’s one thing I hope you never have to see.”

“Sure, I’ll never go out of my way to see a dead body.” 

“Uh, Aaron’s working on the garden if you want to go save your flowers.”

“He is?”

“Yeah, he needed some extra cash for his truck and he’s no stranger to hard work.”

“We only ended Penzance rehearsals an hour ago.” 

“We’ll give him some dinner,” your dad offers and he grabs the file.

“I hope we’re giving him a living wage,” you grumble, grabbing the gardening kit you leave by the back door and head out to join Aaron.

He smiles when you go out, wiping his forehead with the back of his clubbed hand.

“You don’t have to help,” he says.

“Eh, Dad’ll pay you the same amount if I help or not.”

“Okay.” He glances around the garden and sighs. “There’s a lot.”

“Dad likes throwing seeds and seeing what happens,” you explain. “But he’s also just... bad at remembering to do stuff like this.”

“Yeah.”

“I know you’ve got to get home, but do you want to stay for dinner?” you dig up a handful of weeds and throw it on a pile. “I didn’t see your truck around and I knew all the cars in the practice carpark, so I assume Dad’s dropping you back.”

“He said he would, but I can walk it’s only ten minutes.”

“Nah, he’ll drive you but you should stay for dinner. It’s stroganoff night.”

“Stroganoff? I haven’t had that before.”

“Well then you really do have to stay for dinner.”

You work in silence until you’re both drenched in sweat, but the garden looks like you’ve got a professional gardener.

“The poppies are beautiful,” Aaron comments. 

“They were my Mom’s favourite. They were all over our place in DC.” You smile, just a little, and don’t look at him. “She doesn’t… she doesn’t have a grave so we plant them wherever we go so we can visit her.”

“Sorry.” He says quietly. “When did she die? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Five years ago. I was almost eleven.” You swallow, remembering the blood all over the kitchen. Coating the walls. All the police that had swarmed the house. How long it took before your neighbours even bothered to come and check on you, how long you’d been alone--that they’d never found a body.

“I don’t--” you try to start again.

“--Want to talk about it, I’m sorry,” Aaron says, hanging his head. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, better to ask now than later. But I might tell you one day.”

“You don’t have to.”

“That’s why I’d tell you one day, I think.” 

A fat ginger cat squeezes his way out from under the foundations of the house. He pauses midstep, as if assessing Aaron, then he runs to the two of you, his fat bouncing as he wraps his fat body around your legs then weaves through Aaron’s.

“This is Ginger,” you introduce. “Hales and I leave tuna out for him and he eats the mice.”

“A lot of both by the looks of him,” Aaron says. He leans down to scratch Ginger’s ears and Ginger starts purring like there’s no tomorrow. 

“Yeah, I think Dad leaves food out for him too.”

“I can see that. You’re a very loved boy, aren’t you?”

Ginger arches up into Aaron’s fingers and looks too pleased with his cat self. 

“I think you’ve made a friend there, Aaron.”

“You two ready to come get yourselves cleaned up?” your Dad calls from the door. “Dinner’s in half an hour, enough time for a shower. Both of you, I’ve got a change of clothes for you Aaron, I’ll put those in the wash before I drive you home.”

“Yes Sir, thank-you Sir.”

“Don’t call him Sir.”

“Don’t call me Sir, this isn’t the marines.”

***

“What do you want to do when you graduate, Kid?” Dave asks Aaron. He’s cleared his plate twice, and is working on his third. This, evidently, pleases your father.

“I kind of want to go into law, maybe, Sir,” Aaron says. He always stops eating and puts his fork down when he’s talking. You know that Dave’s making a note of it. 

“‘Maybe’ doesn’t sound very convinced.”

“Do we have to be, Uncle Dave? We don’t graduate for forever.”

“It’s always nice to know where you might be in the future.”

“Did you know what you wanted to do at my age?” you counter.

“My job didn’t exist when I was your age.”

Aaron frowns and starts eating again.

“He works with uh, this head guys. They figure out crimes like murders by trying to figure out why someone might have done it,” you try to (badly) explain.

“You empathise with killers?” Aaron asks all of a sudden. “Why?”

“Serial killers,” David corrects. “It’s all experimental at the moment, but we try to stop people from continuing to kill. Catch them before the next time.”

“Huh,” Aaron says. He picks at his plate again, then starts eating like he hasn’t in years.

“Are you interested?”

“Not really,” Aaron responds. Truthful. That’s fun. No one’s ever truthful with Dave.

“I told you that you and Jason are the only ones who want that job,” you tease. 

“It’s never going to get off the ground,” your Dad adds. There’s a thump under the table and the two of them grin at each other. You watch the interaction for a heartbeat then return to your dinner.

The phone rings and your dad excuses himself, stretching the cord as far as it can so he can go into the hallway to speak. Dave’s brow furrows, but he doesn’t follow him. Just starts washing up, asking Aaron questions that come with one word answers. 

“Sweetness,” your dad calls as he comes back in, hanging up the phone. “Are you okay here if Dave and I head out? We’ll take you home, Aaron, don’t worry.”

“Yeah, sure, Dad. Is everything okay?”

He looks at you, one of those long looks that say absolutely nothing is okay, and then he nods.

“Everything’s fine.”

He’s always been a terrible liar.

You just wish you knew what he was lying about.

“See you at school, Aaron? Or if I see you earlier?”

“Sure,” Aaron says. Whatever lightness he had before is completely gone, replaced with the awkward-Aaron you’d met downstairs. 

He gets his clothes thrown at him, then your dad explaining that there’s money in the breadbox if he doesn’t come back before the weekend’s over. There’s always money in the breadbox, but you don’t tell him that.

“Dad? Where’re you going?”

He pauses at the door, shaking his keys. “I’ll be back.”

It’s nowhere near an answer. And by the look he gives you, he knows exactly that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Return of Tesoro as Rossi's petname for Mom, bless. And Halley is A MESS but I LOVE HER.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short present day

"Good afternoon oh wise ones," you greet the bullpen team, dropping a single cupcake that Saskia made in front of everyone.

"Thanks!" Spencer says, looking shocked at the development. "What're you doing here?" 

"Visiting my husband," you smile, ruffling his hair. "And Sassy made cupcakes for her favourite crime fighters." 

"Hotch isn't in a good mood, he's seen Strauss like five times today," Emily relays to you before biting down into her cupcake. "Fuck these are good."

"Don't tell Sassy, it'll get to her head." 

"Are those for JJ, Morgan and Garcia?" Spencer asks, pointing to them. You nod, eyes trained on Aaron who's chewing at his cheeks and running his hands through his hair. 

"Can you run them to them?" You ask, placing them on Spence's desk. He nods eagerly, too obsessed with the cupcakes to notice.

"Knock, knock," you say softly as you reach Aaron's office. He looks up and blinks like he might burst into tears at any moment. 

"Hi," he breathes and you watch all the tension melt away from his body. 

"Dad called, he's heading back to Clearriver so I've taken the next couple of days off." 

"Jess said she can look after Jack and Saskia if we're both working."

"I promised Haley we wouldn't work at the same time," you whisper, voice breaking. Shit, you weren't supposed to cry, you were just going to visit Aaron. "Sassy made cupcakes last night."

You hold a vanilla one with sprinkles out in front of you and Aaron grins, just a little, and comes over, taking the cupcake and wrapping you into a hug. 

"I was supposed to be visiting you for fun," you say into his shoulder, followed by a muffled sob. "I was fine yesterday."

"Bad days, good days," Aaron whispers. He moves you both so your back is to the bullpen. "It's okay to be upset." 

"I visited Haley this morning and I had breakfast at our favourite spot, and I was fine and now my head's all foggy. I told Director Vance that I really didn't care about his paperwork. I caught myself before I said anything else," you add, completely horrified. 

"It is That Time Of Year," Aaron reminds you. It’s nowhere near Haley's death-anniversary, but it was the month teenage Aaron had affectionately dubbed 'the month of pain' and it was a month that just kept on giving:

-The month your mom had died.   
-When It had happened (a memory you wished to bury deeper than your mother's death).   
-The month Aaron's dad had died.   
-When Felix had been (first) murdered.   
-The first victim you ever lost on a case.   
-When Haley had lost her baby. 

If something bad wants to happen, it always feels the need to happen at exactly the same time of year. It’s the first time you’re grateful for when Haley died, if it had landed in this month you don’t think you would be able to survive. 

"Well let's not tempt it to do anything else," you splutter, wiping your cheeks. "Em said that you had meetings with Erin?"

It's Aaron’s turn to put his back to the bullpen. “The pentagon wants JJ.”

“Is that not good? That’s a great opportunity.”

“She doesn’t want it.”

“So it is not good.”

Aaron smirks. “No.”

“Billy’s got pentagon detail, she’d be in good hands.”

“That’s not the point.”

“I know.” 

You loop your arms around his neck and flip off Emily who’s staring intently into the office trying to read your lips. Aaron smirks at you and kisses you softly.

“Emily’s watching isn’t she?”

“Mhmm.” 

‘I love you,” he chuckles, pulling you closer. 

“I love you too, Aaron, but I want to go back to feeling like normal.”

“You will. We will.” 

“You don’t know that.”

“I do,” he whispers, tapping your chest lightly. “Because you told me so. Because you always tell Jack and Saskia, and me, that’s it’s okay to feel yucky because the yuck reminds us we can still feel.”

“I didn’t think you were listening.” 

“I’m always listening,” he whispers. “Plus, Jack told me this morning multiple times. He said that’s why Saskia was baking.”

“She couldn’t sleep. She, uh, I mean she really couldn’t sleep. All the green and peppermint tea in the world couldn’t have put her to sleep, even a tranquilizer would have had a hard time.”

“You used to bake when you were stressed,” he says like it rationalises your actions.

“Yes, I did, Aaron, I also...” your mind trails off. 

“Babe?”

“What’s the date?” 

Aaron points to his desk calendar then hums like it’s dawned on him too.

“Ten years since Felix?” he asks.

“Yeah. His, uh. Felix’s parents come down every year.”

“You never told me that.” He takes your hand, sitting you on his couch.

“They bought the house when I put it up on the market. I left the field office and I just wanted out and I wasn’t thinking that they’d want it, I should’ve left it but--”

“You and Sas had no money,” Aaron says like he’s rationalising it, cupping your cheek. “Selling the house was the right way to go, and you guys are happier now. You wouldn’t have been if you stayed there.”

“Aaron, every year they come down and sleep in that house like it’ll bring Felix back.”

“Do they know he wasn’t dead? What he did to you and Sas?”

“No,” you whisper. “I didn’t want to tell them, and I could get away with them not seeing Sas that year, but then Foyet and H… Haley--”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Aaron hovers where he is, looking like he wants to pull you into him. “I’ll be okay with Sas and Jack if you want to have dinner with them.”

“I don’t want to see them at all, Aaron. We don’t get to just, go out to dinner, they make me sit in the dining room and eat food made in that kitchen and then they drink wine in the living room over the massive blood stain until they’re too drunk to be…”

“To be nice?”

“Yeah.” You blow out your cheeks. “I don’t want to go, but I don’t want them to hate me or think I didn’t love him or…”

“Babe.” Aaron cups your face, brows furrowing. “They don’t come and see Saskia unless it’s the anniversary of Felix’s death. And Catalina said so herself, Felix was a bastard to everyone. If you don’t want to go, you don’t have to go. You’re allowed to leave all that behind.”

“Ten years, Aaron.”

“If you’re going to dinner with them, I’m coming.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I do.”

“Lovebirds,” Rossi greets. He must have knocked but neither of you noticed. Hurriedly you wipe your cheeks and smile at him.

“Hey, Dave. I was just leaving.”

“No you weren’t,” Aaron says quickly. “What’s up, Dave?”

“Just want to check up on my favourite ex-employee.”

“Alright, Dad, I’m okay.” You smile at him, even if it is a splutter of emotions and you’re fighting not to burst into tears again.

“I just know your dad left for Clearriver today, was there a reason?”

You shrug. “He was talking to Sassy about something when he came to take them to school, then something occurred to him and he was leaving.”

Dave frowns. It’s the kind of frown that says he doesn’t believe it for a second.

Aaron’s phone chimes, the kind of chime you never want to hear. There’s the amber alert chime (always terrifying) and then this one, the chime that goes off when you’ve put a watch on someone. The kind of alert that isn’t a happy one.

“Is it Ellie?” you ask, frowning. Even Dave’s clammed up.

“No,” Aaron says. His voice is far off, distant, completely not his at all. “Cancel dinner with Felix's parents, we have to go to Clearriver. Do you have a gobag?”

“Yeah, in the car. Aaron?” You watch him as he hurries around his office, grabbing his bag and moving his files around his desk. “Is Dad okay?”

He looks like he’s going to cry when he looks up at you from across his desk.

“They found her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologise in advance very much so for the coming plot.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 16 year olds once more ~~

“You’re drenched,” Aaron says.

You had to walk to school (your dad’s still not home) and it had started raining out of nowhere halfway to school. Just about everything in your bag must be completely destroyed.

“You could be a profiler with an observation like that,” you say, turning your bag upside down onto the table. Aaron snorts.

“Are you guys making jokes without me being in on them?” Haley pouts. She collapses onto the chair next to Aaron, looking exhausted for a moment, then she’s rejuvenated once more. “You should have stayed at your place! Me and Jess drove passed to pick you up but there was no one there and the back carpark was empty so we didn’t. Actually, that was all weekend.”

“I was home on the weekend,” you respond defensively, peeling your book pages apart. “Everything’s going to be all wrinkly.”

“I can, uh, I can help,” Aaron offers. He grabs a book and starts gently peeling the pages apart. 

“Nah, Mrs. Veelo said your dad’s car left on Friday night and the curtains didn’t open all weekend, you weren’t there,” Haley says, shaking a novel out and blowing on the pages. “Oh, and Aaron, thanks for the haircut. Mom’s so impressed with it she said she couldn’t have done it better if she tried.”

“Sure. Anytime,” Aaron smiles.

“I’m going to go see if the English department as a hairdryer,” Haley says and then she’s running out of the room with the novel still in her hand.

Aaron waits, you know he’s waiting, he’s horrible at hiding what’s on his face.

“Your Dad didn’t come home?” he asks quietly. You shake your head, no. “Are you worried?”

“He does this sometimes, it’s okay.”

“Have you eaten?”

“I used up the leftovers last night, I’m getting stuff after school.” 

“We can halve my sandwich at lunch,” Aaron offers. 

“Thanks. I’ll pay you back.”

“Don’t worry about it.” 

“HAIRDRYER!” Haley yells, thrusting it into the air. “I’ve got one. Just have to give it back by the end of the lesson.”

Mrs. Johnson puts her binder down on the teacher’s desk and sighs at you and Haley, shaking her head.

“Up the back,” she says like she’s already exhausted. “Next time think about your mode of transport before coming to school.”

“Sure,” you respond saltily.

***

Aaron kicks the ground as you’re both walking home.

“You live behind the law firm?” you ask, bag of groceries under your arm.

“Uh, yeah. Backyard’s big enough for Sean to run around in, but nothing really grows out there.” He crosses his arms and shrugs. “Not like your garden.”

“When we moved in it already had a really pretty garden,” you say. “Hey, Aaron? Are you okay? You were really happy before, then you remembered you had to go home and you got all… Lost? You don’t have to answer, of course.”

“I’m okay,” Aaron nods. It doesn’t sound very convinced. 

“If you don’t, uh, if you don’t want to be at home or just need a break, there’s a spare key next to the back door. Or the front door. The house door, not the practice. There’s a chalkboard on the door in the spare room and one in the laundry, just write your name on the chalkboards. If the old cars aren’t in the carpark the room’s free.”

“That’s okay.”

“I’m serious, Haley and Felix stay all the time.” 

He nods slowly. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Fridays are always stroganoff nights, on Mondays dad makes fish, but every other night is just a guessing game.”

“I wouldn’t want to be a burden.”

“Aaron, you met Jason and David. You’re not a burden, those guys are--”

“Jason?”

You blink at him. “Oh, you just met David. Sorry. If you meet Jason, he loves birds. Sometimes he just starts yelling, though. When he’s working. It’s kind of disorientating, but they don’t always work when they’re at home.”

Haley’s kicking up grass outside your door, then presses it down again. She waves when you come up.

“Do you want to come in, Aaron?” you ask, and Haley’s nodding enthusiastically. 

“Yeah, we’ve got like twenty minutes before she has a grocery shop breakdown and starts crying, I always leave before that.”

“Oh, jeeze, thank-you Haley, I feel so loved.”

“You coming in, Aaron? We can raid the tea and coffee cabinets,” Haley says and she pushes the door open.

Aaron shrugs then smiles. “Sure.”

***

“This happens all the time,” Haley says. She’s practically lying on the dining table as Aaron unpacks the grocery bags and you try to find somewhere to put them. “Her dad just goes to DC sometimes. That’s why she was at Mary’s.”

“She’s the cat’s mother,” you respond bitterly. “Did Dad leave a list of things Grace needs to do? I can’t remember what the list is supposed to be for her and I won’t remember everything.”

“Yeah, I’ll go check,” Haley says. “Aaron, come’on, I’ll show you where the list is.”

She grabs Aaron’s hand and drags him down the hallway with him trailing behind her like an excited puppy. 

***

“What is this?” Aaron says. It’s Friday night and your dad still isn’t home (he’s called, he’s alive) so Haley’s made it her mission to have the three of you over and in the living room. 

Grease is playing on the tiny TV, the speakers barely managing to keep up with the songs, and the talk is constantly cut off. You’ve told your dad multiple times that he needs to get a new one, but all the extra cash was spent on the TV in your room and all his trips to DC.

“Were you not listening at the start? The whole song explained everything.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t hear over all the screaming,” Aaron says, waving his hands by his ears.

“Oh ho ho, you have jokes,” Haley laughs, pushing his head away with her foot.

Aaron blushes and shakes his head, swatting her foot away. 

“How do you guys know all the lyrics anyway?”

“Oh it’s not just the lyrics,” you tell him, handing him the bowl of popcorn.

“We can do the movie back to front,” Haley informs him proudly. “And we can continue from any random quote.”

“Dad says it’s a waste of our time.”

“Maybe, but it’s kind of impressive.’

Haley gasps, clutching her heart. “Aaron Hotchner, will you go on tape saying that?”

“Nope, you won’t be able to hear me over all this.”

“OH, oh, shh shh, this is the best part.”

“Everything’s the best part, Haley,” you laugh. 

“Nuh uh.” But she’s already leaning forward intently. 

“Does anything in this movie make sense?” Aaron whispers to you dramatically.

“Sandy and Danny are in love,” you whisper back. “That makes sense.”

“He’s having sex with his car,” Aaron snorts.

“He is not.”

“Shut up,” Haley snaps. “And it’s supposed to be silly.”

“There’s silly and then there’s this,” Aaron says.

Haley grabs a handful of popcorn and shoves it into Aaron’s mouth, holding her hand there despite his protests as he tries to eat it all up.

“I will keep filling your mouth until this song is over if you don’t shut up,” Haley threatens. Aaron nods like he understands, but there’s a glint of mischief in his eyes. 

Light briefly fills the living room then turns off, the hallway bathed in a low light. Haley frowns and gets up, pausing Grease. You listen as an engine grumbles then turns off.

“Dad?” you say, standing. “He always calls when he’s leaving DC.”

You push the curtains to outside open, frowning as he lifts something out the car. Something that very much looks like a small human. Human person.

“Haley, is that a child?” you ask, pointing out the window. She joins you, pressing her face to the window, and nods.

“I think so.”

“Should I go?” Aaron asks.

Haley shakes her head. “This happens sometimes, it’s okay.” She squeezes your shoulder lightly. “Put Grease back on?”

“Yeah.” You follow her back to the couch, pulling your legs up to your chest. He takes forever getting into the house, you’re not entirely sure why. 

“Hey Sweetness, Pumpkin and… Aaron,” your dad says softly.

“I can’t wait for you to get a nickname,” Haley snorts. “It’s going to be so much fun, you’re getting a good one.”

You twist in your seat, smiling at the little girl who’s in your dad’s arms. Her eyes are so wide that you think she might explode. She catches your eye, still looking terrified, but she doesn’t break her look. She just looks and looks and looks and then leans forward, reaching out with tiny, chubby, hands. She can’t be much older than two.

“Who’s this?” you ask, letting her tip into you like she can’t wait to get away from your dad.

“We’re looking after this little girl until Dave and Jason find out what happened to her family,” your dad says quietly. He covers her ears. “Family annihilator. Her survival was an oversight.”

“You said you weren’t working cases anymore! We left because of it!” But you keep your voice low because the little girl is slowly relaxing in your arms. Haley’s looking at her with a big ‘aww’ face.

“Sweetness, we left because of Mom,” he says, narrowing his eyes at you. He lets go of the little girls ears and you know the argument is over.

“So what’s your name, then?” you ask, shifting her in her arms.

“Sasi,” she says with all the confidence an almost-three-year-old can have. You look to your dad for confirmation. 

“Saskia Markov,” he confirms. “Aaron, I’m going to move your stuff up to my room if that’s okay. You can stay up there for the night.”

“He can stay in my room,” you offer. “I’ve got the blow-up mattress still.” Your dad stares at you. “We’re not going to commit any sins, Dad, there’s three of us.”

He snorts and shakes his head like you’ve said the funniest thing in the world. “Yeah, okay, if Aaron’s alright with that.”

“My room’s big, we’ve got the divider.”

Haley nods. “The divider’s so cool, we painted birds on it. It was from the drama room and I broke it during a rehearsal, so we fixed it and kept it.”

“How long is Saskia here for, Dad?”

“Until she’s safe.”

***

Your dad’s snoring downstairs. Aaron is not on the blow up mattress, you’d all agreed on playing a round of The Game of Life and suddenly it was three in the morning and no one had the energy to move under the covers, let alone off the bed. Haley’s buried herself in soft toys, and you’re hanging half off the bed as Aaron tries to take up as little space as possible.

There’s a soft thump, thump, thump, up the stairs and Aaron frowns, half sitting up.

“Sean?” he says groggily.

“Saskia,” you correct and he nods, falling back between your pillows. You watch your door open slowly, then the little girl climbs into your bed with quite an effort.

“Hello,” you smile, moving over so she can fit on your bed. You’re pretty sure there was a book about this, and either one of you are going to fall off the bed and die, or the entire bed is going to fold in on itself and you’re all going to sink into a lake.

She doesn’t say anything. She just grabs your finger, nestles into the pillow beside you, closes her eyes and within moments she’s asleep. Nose to nose with you.

And an incredibly selfish part of you wishes that Dave and Jason never find what happened to her family, because then she could stay here forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry im sorry im sorry but it's going to be fun okay  
> ***  
> also mom/haley/aaron had exacty the same moment they had watching Grease while they were watching Mamma Mia.  
> ***  
> They really said "i guess we could be friends" and two weeks later were all sleeping in the same bed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Present day(ish)~~

You should have gone to Clearriver alone, or just with Aaron, but he’d barely gotten down to the carpark before he grabbed your hand and tugged it lightly.

“Can we take Jack and Saskia?” he asked quietly, like he’s scared you’ll say no. “I just… I just want to know they’re with us.”

He looks so earnest you can’t say no, you just nod. Of course you can take Jack and Saskia with you. Neither of them cared about being pulled out of school, Jack was too excited about it and Saskia just packed her bag and practically flipped the class off as she left.

Saskia’s in the back seat, pouring through a book that is definitely above her reading age, and Jack’s colouring in spiderman with his crayons. Neither of them have asked any questions, besides when you can stop for food and if Dad’ll let them drink milkshakes in the car.

Aaron just smirked and shook his head, but he never actually said no so the kids are hopeful.

“Do you want me to drive?” you offer as you come up to a diner. Aaron grips the steering wheel, drums his thumb against the leather, then shakes his head.

“I’m okay. But we’ll stop for food.”

Thank God. 

Saskia and Jack both perk up, Jack repeating ‘food, food, food’ over and over again until Aaron chuckles. 

“Do we tell them?” Aaron whispers, eyes flicking to the rear-view mirror to look at Saskia and Jack. 

“I don’t see how we can’t,” you tell him, reaching over to take his hand. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“It’s not your fault.”

He nods slowly, unconvinced. “Sure.”

~*~* 16-Year-Old Kidlets *~*~

“Mom wanted me to give you these,” Aaron says after school. He hands you a plastic bag full of… “These used to be Sean’s, Mom said he won’t need them. I know your family don’t have a lot for toddlers.”

“Thanks,” you nod, putting them in your bag. “Dad’s refusing to ask for help.”

“Mom was the same. She said she’d already done it once, she didn’t need people reminding her how to do it.”

“Hey, look, it’s Tuesday, do you want to come to the Diner? Haley, Felix and I always go before the game.” You shrug. “Haley and I don’t go to the game, but Felix does.”

“I have to be home before five,” Aaron says. “Told Dad I was studying at the library.”

“We could study at the diner?”

“Sure.”

Haley bangs her palms on the side of Felix’s truck as he pulls into the carpark.

“Nice haircut,” Felix teases with a lopsided smirk. 

“Can Aaron come too?” Haley asks as she hauls her bag into the back. “Please, please, please, please.”

Felix pulls a face like he’s thinking about it, but it’s the face that’s already a yes.

“Aaron, have they made you watch Grease yet?” Felix asks. Aaron nods. “You poor thing. I am so sorry. Hop in, when’s curfew?”

“Four thirty,” you tell him before Aaron can answer. Felix repeats it to himself quietly a couple of times. “Okay, let’s go.”

***

“So the girls are torturing you, right?” Felix teases. He pushes a bowl of fries towards Aaron and he nods, taking only one fry. Haley glares at him and shoves four more into his hand. 

“Free fries, eat them before Felix does,” she says matter-of-factly. “He only does this, like, once a month and it’s the best day ever.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“So what does that make us?” Felix says, leaning back in his chair. “Lawyer’s kid, Doctor’s kid,” he points at Aaron, then you. “Sheriff’s kid,” he points to himself. “And… Haley.”

“Hey! I could take your dad off the meat list and then who’s not getting their Sunday roast.”

“Fair point,” Felix surrenders. “So, Aaron, you were at Eddy’s, right? The boarding school?”

“Yeah.”

“I heard that’s a tough as shit school.”

“Felix,” you say warningly, kicking his shin under the table. “Be nice. We like Aaron.”

“‘We’? When did you make decisions for us as a whole?”

“I like Aaron,” Haley says quietly, a blush rising over her cheeks. “And y/n likes Aaron. So we all like Aaron, you’re outnumbered.”

“It looks that way. How many times have they made you watch Grease?”

“Uh, just once,” Aaron says. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“See?!” Haley screeches, pointing at him accusingly. “I told you it was a good movie.”

“Danny’s more in love with his car than he is with Sandy,” Felix defends. Aaron nods in agreement, quickly catching himself when Haley makes a sound of disappointment. 

He likes her. Really likes her. Adorably likes her. 

A part of you wants to possessively wrap her up and tell Aaron to leave her alone, but she’d be happy with him. Happy forever, not just happy while you exist hidden behind some sort of protective forcefield you’ve put around each other.

Haley catches you looking between them and scrunches up her face at you, poking her tongue out. You return the gesture. 

“I saw your Dad’s friends came over the other day,” Felix says, grabbing your milkshake from you. “Are they sticking around?”

“No? They haven’t come back. Dad went to DC last week, they haven’t come back.”

Felix presses his finger against the window forcefully. “That’s bird boy, right?’

You look out to see a disheveled Jason climbing out of his truck, muttering something to himself. He doesn’t see you as he comes in, orders some pie, and starts scratching things down in his notebook. 

“So what’s with all the crying that’s come from your place?” Felix says. “Your dad came to talk to my dad but I couldn’t stay and eavesdrop.”

“Good,” you tell him. “You shouldn’t eavesdrop.”

“Are you going to answer my question?”

“Felix, leave her alone.”

“Yes, Haley,” Felix says but his dark eyes are completely trained on you. “Are you okay?”

His foot reaches under the table and taps your shin, his eyes repeating the question. You give him a single, uniformed nod in response. He seems to be happy with that much as an answer.

***

There are few things Aaron gets to do, you’ve noticed. 

Most of the things he does he gets away with telling his Dad that he’s studying, and the lack of outside exploration the Hotchner's do, Aaron could go anywhere without them knowing. But the one thing he does get to do, is jog.

Haley hates jogging. She was so excited to be able to say no when Aaron asked if anyone wanted a before school run, but there was no way you could say no. All Saskia seems to do is cry, which is fine until it’s all through the night. She’s taken a liking to you, though, and gets mad whenever you go to school, but it’s nice to be somewhere where you can’t hear her. Just… quiet.

Which is exactly what you’re getting. Quiet, in the early morning, as you and Aaron fight your way up the hill to the old water tanks. The rain cleared up, but the dry mud crust hasn’t dried the whole way through and it’s as slippery as it’s ever been.

Aaron’s almost rolled down the hill once, you caught him at the last moment, hauling him up from a slippery trip back down to the bottom.

“Thanks,” he gasps as you stand beneath the water tanks, both craning your necks up to see how high it really is up. They were put out of commission years ago, and now they did nothing more than hold a little water and get used for target practice. You and Haley had tried to climb the ladder once, but the screws halfway up were loose and neither of you wanted to risk a ten foot drop if the ladder came free.

“Anytime,” you tell him, wiping mud from your face. “Shall we go back down?”

Aaron shakes his head, breath wheezing in his chest. “I forgot to breathe,” he says, wiping his hand over his face. “The mud smelt so bad.”

“That way, down there,” you point down the side with thorn bushes all over the place. “It doesn’t smell so bad, but it hurts like hell if you run into a bush.”

“I’ve dealt with worse,” he chuckles. He pulls his sleeves down, over a very light, but noticeable, bruise on his arm.

“Aaron?” you just point at his arm, not saying anything else.

“It’s okay,” he says, shaking his head.

“Is it?” 

He nods, pulling his sleeves all the way down over his fists.

“Aaron, if you’re worried I’ll tell Haley, I assure you I won’t. I won’t tell anyone, it goes no further than us.”

“Is that why no one’s asked about my dad?” Aaron frowns, rubbing his eye.

“Yeah.”

“Dad’s sick.”

“I know.”

“He, uh. He has good days and bad days. Yesterday was a bad day, he kept passing out.”

“Does Dad know?”

Aaron shrugs. “I don’t know what my dad tells your dad. He doesn’t let me in.”

“I can tell Dad if you’d like.”

“Thanks.” 

“We could get you some help,” you offer. “Grace knows some at home nurses that could help with day to day things.”

“Dad’s proud. He would never allow it. He doesn’t even tell Mom.”

“Okay. I’m sorry that you’re going through this.”

“It’s fine.” He points down the thorn filled hill. “Ready?”

“Sure,” you say. “Oh, Aaron?”

“Uh huh.” 

“Do you like Haley? Like… like-like?”

“What?” Aaron laughs, blushing. “No.”

“That’s a yes,” you laugh back. “Be kind to her, okay? She’s not… breakable but she can definitely break you. In two. And if her morals get in the way, mine won’t.”

“Nice threat,” he says, swallowing nervously. “Would’ve taken it more seriously if your face wasn’t all… that.”

“You took it serious enough.”

“Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, I believe you.” 

There’s a pause, an electricity in the air where you’re sure you can feel Aaron’s fear. Then you’re both flailing down the hill, launching over bramble branches, cutting yourselves more than once before you’re rolling out onto the road, over the road, and straight to the practice. Up the stairs, into the empty waiting room, and straight through to the kitchen. 

You throw Aaron a spare towel as he picks up his backpack.

“Downstairs bathroom is free, I’ll use upstairs.”

When Saskia bum shuffles down the stairs, you and Aaron are in the kitchen bandaging the wounds that won’t stop bleeding.

“Morning, Sasi,” you smile, and she waves her tiny chubby hand at you. She’s followed closely behind by your dad, who’s nursing what could only be his second cup of coffee.

“Good run?” he asks, grabbing two slices of bread and throwing them in the toaster as he steps over and around Saskia.

“Uh huh. Anything new on…?” you point at Saskia, you’ve both agreed not to mention what happened to her parents and older siblings around her. She’s happier that way, you all agree.

“Jason’s following up some leads, but nothing yet. Dave’s putting some feelers out underground but something’s not quite right.”

“Your gut?”

“Yeah, Sweetness. My gut.” He grabs Saskia, throwing her in the air and she squeals, giggles, then thrashes all her limbs as he tries to get her in the highchair. 

“Oh, here,” Aaron says quickly and he pops the tray off, Saskia sliding into it effortlessly, then he puts the tray back on. “Mom and I realised after Sean did it himself.”

“Impressive,” your dad nods, clasping his shoulder. “You can stay around.”

“He’s not going anywhere, Dad,” you laugh. “Do you want breakfast? Jess said he can pick us both up, with Hales.”

“I’m okay,” Aaron says, shaking his head.

“Too bad, if you’re here you’re eating breakfast, gotta keep you out of my practice.” Your dad grabs a bowl, then cereal, and pushes it across the breakfast bar to Aaron. 

“Okay,” Aaron says with a small nod. He pulls out a stool and sits. “Thanks.”

*~*~ Present Day ~*~*

“Where’re we going?” Saskia asks. She leans over the table and stabs food on Aaron’s plate, stealing it with a grin.

“Saski,” Jack says, trying so hard to frown like Aaron does but it just makes him look adorable and you just want to squish up his face and press kisses all over his face.

“Clearriver,” Aaron says with a hesitant breath.

“That’s where you guys grew up,” Saskia says, pulling her legs up onto her booth. “Ammi said you could never go back. Was she just being hy-per-bo-lic?” Saskia says, sounding the last word out. Bless her using big words that Spencer taught her.

“Uh, kind of,” Aaron says, pushing his food around his plate. Jack mirrors him. “There’s not a lot of people around in Clearriver that are our friends.”

“Dad’s parents live there, right? Still?” Saskia says and she actually starts to go pale. 

“We’re not going to see them,’ Aaron says quickly. “It’s okay, Sassy, we’re going to go stay with Grandad. Mom and I are going to help some people with some stuff, you won’t have to see them.”

“I don’t even think they’re in Clearriver,” you add. “I think they’re in DC for the week.”

Saskia nods, but she looks like she’s never going to eat again.

“When Dad and I were sixteen,” you start, putting a hand on Aaron’s leg. “Uncle Dave and Grandad were working a case, like Dad does, but there weren’t a lot of them like there are now. There was no Spencer and JJ and Pen and Emily and Derek, it was just Uncle Dave and Gideon. Sometimes they asked Grandad to help. They were doing the best they could. Grandad brought a victim home.”

“Like Uncle Derek wants to do with Ellie?” Saskia asks. Aaron pushes his plate towards her, offering her more scrambled eggs and she takes them eagerly. Thank God.

“Yeah, just like Uncle Derek wants to do with Ellie.”

“Do they have a name? Where did they sleep?”

You share a look with Aaron. “Well, they used to sleep in the spare room at Grandad’s house.” Saskia watches you, she knows you haven’t answered the first question. “Her name was Saskia, I named you after her.”

“She must’ve been really special to you then. How old is she?”

“She was Uncle Sean’s age,” Aaron says and Saskia nods, looking at her hands like she’s counting something on her fingers then shrugs. “Mom and I might be a little stressed while we’re out there,” Aaron says quietly.

“But we still love you,” you say quickly. “Both of you, look at you, you’re both our worlds.”

Jack and Saskia both get this really goofy smile on their faces. 

“Is there lots to do at Grandad’s house?” Saskia asks. “I only brought my book.”

“Oh, yeah, heaps,” you tell her.

Aaron cups your cheek. “I don’t think Mom moved a single thing out when she left home. Only her Grease video.”

“Okay, Aaron, that’s a good movie I had to take it with me.”

“You two should kiss,” Jack splutters with a laugh. 

Aaron rolls his eyes and kisses you softly, the kids both responding with ‘EW!’ even though they’re laughing.

“It’ll be okay,” Aaron whispers to you, pressing his forehead to yours. It’s more a confirmation for him than for you.

“We’ll be okay,” you correct, squeezing his hand. 

He smiles.

You both believe that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's so much shit that's going to go down, i am so sorry.
> 
> But also?? Aaron's so soft with Saskia and knows her too well, he's so cute. and I love teenage mom and aaron and haley i just want to squish their faces and tell them that i love them.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~full disclosure, I had no idea I hadn't posted this chapter. So I added more and now it's here.~~

The town’s swarming with police. Everywhere you look, they’re there. So you’re hauled up inside the house like you’re kids again, Saskia and Jack trying to figure out how The Game of Life board goes together. You’d forgotten that once you guys had written your names on the colours you wanted to be, Jack’s taken the red car that has ‘Aaron’ written very (badly) onto it. Saskia’s taken yellow, which Haley had aggressively written ‘H’ on every surface.

“How do we play?” Saskia says, trying desperately to read the rules which has ‘Aaron Hotchner Stinks’ written across it in permanent marker. Aaron sighs, but he smiles just a little and joins them on the ground, kissing Saskia’s temple when she leans over him and tries to snatch something.

“You don’t have to be here,” your dad says as he joins you by the door. He smiles sightly as he watches them. “Didn’t think I’d see this here.”

“Neither did I.”

“This is a lot for you guys to deal with,” he says like you’ve got no idea. “After Haley?”

“Dad. Don’t.”

“It’s barely been six months.”

“Four and a half.”

“You don’t have to be here.”

“We are and you can’t change that.”

The doorbell rings and you frown.

“Expecting company, Dad?”

“No.” You watch him as his eyes flick to the gun safe. 

“God, don’t be so dramatic.” You feel bad the moment you’ve said it, Aaron blaming himself for Haley’s death had nothing on your dad’s ability to blame himself for everything that happened.

The doorbell rings again.

You answer the door, popping it open enough to look at who’s outside. 

“Hi Gorgeous.”

“Derek?” 

Derek Morgan looks too smug. He nods and smiles, whatever he was about to say is cut off by Garcia erupting up between you both dramatically.

“Hi, we’re here to help.”

“Y-You guys shouldn’t be here.”

“Your husband forgot that his alerts go to babygirl, here, if he doesn’t shut them down on everything.”

“My husband is your boss,” you point out, opening the door enough to let them in. 

“The team are following,” Morgan says, squeezing your shoulder as he passes.

“What? No, we didn’t ask them for this. Derek, we didn--” 

But Derek’s already leaning over the back of the couch and asking if he can play too. Garcia hands your dad a bouquet of flowers, obviously nervous about invading his space.

“Sir, do you have somewhere I can…?” she holds out her laptop. You glance at Aaron, who’s watching you both intently with Saskia’s ear pressed to his chest, the other covered by his hand.

“Babe, why don’t you show Garcia and Morgan your room?” Aaron says. “I’m sure there’s room up there to set up.”

“Yeah. Yeah, sure, it’s up here.”

*~*~ Teenage Era ~*~*

“Is it bad if I say I think I like Aaron?” Haley sighs. She’s spread out on your bed, a copy of The Outsiders hanging from her hand. “Also this is a really good book, thank your dad for lending it to me, hey?”

“Yeah, sure, it was Mom’s.” You press your face up against the window, trying to see if Felix and Aaron have arrived yet. “I don’t think it’s bad if you like Aaron, Hales. He’s a good guy. Better than good.”

“He’s good with Sean and Sasi,” she says. “We could have kids. He’d be good with kids.”

“Haley, we are kids.”

“We are not. I’m seventeen.”

“I wouldn’t have kids now.”

“Of course not, but maybe in a couple of years,” she says, flopping onto her stomach. “We could get houses side by side and raise kids at the same time.”

“Nice fantasy.”

“What do you think you’re going to do when we graduate? Come on.”

“Well, right now my fantasy is that we go to closing night of Penzance without getting caught in a snowstorm.”

“We’ll get there.”

“Felix never takes this long, especially not from Aaron’s.”

“Y’know, Felix likes you.”

“No he doesn’t.” 

“He most certainly does.”

“Hi Hali,” Saskia says. She hasn’t quite gotten a hand of saying ‘Haley’, or Aaron, or Felix, she’s got her own little names for everyone that no one bothers to correct her on.

“Hello my little angel,” Haley smiles and rolls over, letting Saskia climb up next to her. “Look at you in your little dress, you’re looking very beautiful.”

“Look! Sparkles!” she bounces on your mattress, swishing her skirts.

“Sparkles! Are you ready to watch Penzance tonight?”

“Mhmm!” she jumps onto Haley’s back and starts running her tiny fingers through Haley’s hair as she aggressively tries to ‘fix’ it. “I get to sit with Fick and Sean.”

“I know, Aaron was telling me,” Haley laughs. 

"I know all the songs." 

"Yeah? Are you going to sing with us?" 

"Quietly," Saskia says. "I'm allowed to sing quietly." 

"You could be a little loud," Haley offers. Saskia shakes her head violently.

"Quiet."

"Okay, quiet." 

"Felix is here," you say, and like he's confirming it Felix honks his horn twice. Saskia squeals and launches herself at you, you only just manage to catch her. 

Felix has filled his car with blankets. You'd forgotten that the heater in his car doesn't work anymore. 

“Aaron and Sean are already there," Felix says as he moved blankets off Saskia's seat and helps you do her up, despite her dramatic shivering because it gives her more attention.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Aaron's mom's coming. I had to drop her off too."

"She's fun," Saskia says. "She has pretty rings. I'll be quiet while I sit next to her." 

"Good girl."

~*~

Somebody let off a confetti cannon at the end of Penzance, covering the entire stage in glitter and little paper circles. Hell to clean up for the stage crew. Oh, wait, that's you. 

But Haley doesn't let you linger, she grabs you and Aaron's wrists and drags you back stage, down the side steps, and under the stage to where the supposed green room is.

"We did it we did it we did it," Haley squeals, kissing your cheeks then Aaron's. "We never have to know anything about the model of a modern Major-General ever again." 

Aaron's blushing as he looks at Haley. 

"CHEESE!" Saskia yells, and suddenly Haley's tugging you both into her. The three of you barely have enough time to get ready for the photo before the flash blinds you and Saskia's laughing.

She shakes the polaroid and holds the developing film out in front of her triumphantly. She squeals when Aaron slips out from Haley’s grip and picks her up, commenting on her very (very) sparkly dress. She giggles when he tickles her and Haley gives you a very ‘see?’ look. 

Yeah okay she’s a little right.

“Sasi, get in the picture,” Felix says and he’s picking up the camera, scooching you all back together. 

The polaroid Saskia’s clutching onto is quickly forgotten with Haley, the one with Saskia in it now clutched in her hands. She stares at it while it develops, excitedly showing you that you can see all her sparkles in the picture.

“Can I keep this one forever and ever?” Saskia asks, crawling off Aaron’s lap and into yours. “Pretty please?”

“Yeah. Forever and ever.”

*~*~ Present Day ~*~*

“Do you want the good news or the bad news?” Garcia asks.

You’ve cleared off your desk (albeit reluctantly, you hadn’t realised your graduation photo was still on your desk and Haley just looks so happy and you wish you could call her and tell her what’s happening) and Garcia’s set her laptop up. Morgan’s cleared off your bed, but he’s not sitting down. He’s watching you like a hawk.

“Garcia, I love you, but there is no good news right now,” you respond. 

You watch Morgan out the corner of your eye as he shuffles closer to your bookshelf. 

“True, but,” Garcia fixes her glasses and looks at you hopefully. “They misidentified the body they found up by the water tanks. They jumped to conclusions from the objects they found with her, and the only children around the area at the time of death. Trust me, that team is getting obliterated right now.”

She laughs. 

Actually laughs.

You think you might throw up.

“Garcia that’s horrible, that’s not good news, someone else’s kid is dead?”

“Someone else’s?” Morgan frowns.

“Yes. She was someone’s kid,” you snap.

He doesn’t apologise. He just keeps watching you.

“You would feel better knowing it was this little girl in the dirt?” Morgan says, picking up a picture of you, Haley and Sasi. It had been Sasi’s birthday party, the week before she’d disappeared. 

Something in you completely snaps.

“I DON’T WANT ANYONE’S KID TO BE OUT THERE!” 

Morgan jumps. He actually jumps and looks horrified. You’re left staring at him, equally horrified at yourself. 

“Sas and Jack are at the park with your dad,” Aaron says quietly from the door. He hesitates to step inside your room, but he does, taking the picture of Morgan and puts it back on the shelf, right where the dust mark is.

There’s a silent look between Aaron and Morgan. Morgan nods. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that,” Morgan says.

Aaron squeezes your wrist.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

“I shouldn’t have said it.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Aaron says. He wraps an arm around your waist protectively and pulls you closer to him. “They identified without actually looking at the body?” Aaron asks.

“Yeah. A new team’s been brought in from the Jeffersonian.”

“How.”

Morgan doesn’t say anything. He just hands Aaron a file that he looks at for a split second, before snapping it closed. He looks like he’s going to be sick.

“What is it?” you ask, trying to grab the file. Aaron shakes his head, holding it further away from you. “Aaron.” He shakes his head again. “Aaron please, I want to see.”

“No.”

“Aaron.”

“I don’t want this in this house,” he tells Morgan, handing it back to him. “I don’t want it near the kids. You look at it in your car, and you leave it in there.”

“Yeah. Sorry. Anything you need, Hotch.”

“I want to see.”

“No you don’t,” Garcia says softly. “You really don’t.”

You know Aaron mouths ‘Thank you’. You try desperately to ignore him. 

“I worked the same job as you, Aaron. I can look at the file.”

“We can fight about it later,” Aaron whispers.

“We’re not fighting, Aaron,” you return, turning your back to him. He doesn’t let go of your waist.

*** 

“Why’s she sleeping there?” Emily whispers to Morgan. They’ve been sitting on the bottom step of the staircase for hours, watching you sleep on the couch while the kids and Aaron sleep upstairs.

Morgan shrugs. He shrugs even though he’s got a few hypotheses. The fight had been rough, if you were even going to call it that. But he knew you weren’t sleeping on the couch because of a disagreement, Morgan knows you’d give Hotch that honour. This was something else.

His suspicion is confirmed long after Emily’s gone to sleep by Saskia’s door, when the whole house is silent, and the back door creaks. You sit up, hand reaching for your gun immediately.

Even though there’s nothing there.

“You’re safe,” Morgan says from the stairs. “There’s nothing there.”

You spin around to Morgan, gun pointed right at him. He doesn’t flinch, just holds up his hands defensively.

“You’re safe,” he repeats. “Can you put the gun down?”

“Shit. Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Can I join you?”

“Yeah. Yes.” You put the gun down, only just noticing how much your hands are shaking. “I didn’t… I… Sorry. It’s not… Not usually like this.”

“It’s the first time you’ve been somewhere other than Rossi’s or your apartment with the kids, isn’t it?” Morgan asks, sitting next to you and handing you a glass of water.

“Y-yes. How did you know?”

“Profiler,” he says softly. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier. It was out of line.”

“Yeah, you were,” you agree. You put your glass down on the coffee table when your hands start to shake too much to keep the water in the cup, and shove your hands between your knees. 

“But that’s okay, really, I know you meant well,” you add.

“I shouldn’t have said it.”

“Derek, it’s okay, I’m not mad at you.”

“Of course you don't want anyone there. I just... doesn't it feel better knowing she's not there?"

"No. Not at all. I still don't know where she is."

Morgan nods slowly. "Please don’t be mad at Hotch, either. You really don’t want to see the case file.”

“I can look at the case file,” you groan.

Morgan pries your hand out from between your knees and takes on in his. 

“You have been through a lot this past year, you do not need to see what’s in that file, you hear me?”

“I hear you.”

“Good.” He puts an arm around your shoulders and squeezes you softly. “You’re safe here. There’s no one out there, and no one’s coming.” 

“I know but… I can’t… my brain won’t tell me that I know.” 

So you just sit there in silence, Morgan holding your hand, listening to the night time exist outside.

“When did you know that little girl? She disappears in all those photos before your graduation.”

“Yeah. She lived with me and Dad for… two, three years? Two birthdays, anyway. She had two birthdays with us.”

“She meant a lot to you?”

“Yeah, Derek, I didn’t name my daughter after her because she meant nothing to me.”

He looks at you. Watches you. Teeters on the edge of saying something.

“She was more than just someone who lived with you,” Derek says. “Right? You would have adopted her.”

You blink at Derek. You don’t think anyone’s ever been so blunt with you. You nod because there’s a lump in your throat.

“Felix. Felix was going to adopt her. He was twenty, he got all the papers. They wouldn’t let Dad do it but Felix was at the police academy. He didn’t have a record. He was a good kid, he had the income, he had the home, h…”

“He was horrible to you.”

You nod. “Yeah. Yes he was. But like. They wouldn’t let Dad adopt Sasi but they’d let Felix. I just wanted… I just wanted to be with her.”

“What happened?”

You shrug. “Just came home one day and she wasn’t there anymore.” Not the entire story, but you don't want to tell him the entire story. You're too scared you'll start sobbing.

“Shit.”

“Shit,” you agree. “I was a kid. I was eighteen or nineteen or seventeen or something I didn’t understand what I was doing.”

“You understood you loved her. I don’t know anyone who would have adopted a kid that young.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Hey,” Aaron says and he sounds far too sleepy. You look over to him. He’s wearing one of his school jumpers that he must have left when he used to stay in the guest room, still stretched out from where Haley would pull it over her knees and stretch it as far as she could.

“Hey you,” you smile. A yawn escapes you and you think Morgan might actually look relieved. 

“Do you want to come to bed?” Aaron asks. His hair’s flopped in front of his face and you’re very sure that he’s not realised Morgan’s with you. 

Although, when he stops at the door frame and leans his head on the door you realise how sleepy he really is. You smile at him and nod. Derek lets go off your hand and pats your knee.

“I’ll stay here. No one’s coming through that door.”

“Thanks, Derek.”

Aaron reaches a hand lazily out for you and you’re not even sure how he managed to get enough energy to get downstairs with how quiet and exhausted he looks. You take it, squeezing his hand lightly and he tugs you closer to him, kissing your forehead. 

He wraps an arm around you as he blunders up the stairs, somehow not falling over before he gets to the bed. 

He’s got casefiles spread all over the desk, casefiles he pulls you away from like he’s scared you’ll look.

“Derek said I shouldn’t look.”

“Yeah. I wish I didn’t.”

Aaron’s never said that before. He flops into the bed that used to be massive to teenage you and Haley and Aaron, but you’re starting to realise how small it really is. You’re left wondering how in the world the three of you ever fit in it.

*~*~ Teenage Era ~*~*

“I’m not tired,” Saskia says. 

She’s running laps around you, bubbles from her bath still in her hair. You’d tried, you really had, but she was too excited and you’d missed the sleeping window and now she’s an unleashed maniac.

Felix throws his car keys into the key tray. He’s the only one that does.

“You’re staying?” you ask and Saskia squeals, running to him.

He grunts as he picks her up, pretending that she’s the heaviest thing in the world. 

“Yeah I can’t get home, all the snow.” He pokes Saskia’s with his nose. “What’re all these bubbles doing in your hair?” Felix teases, brushing her hair back. “Should we clean that out? Princesses can’t sleep with bubbles in their hair.”

“Okay,” she pouts.

***

Saskia’s passed out in her bed. She’s almost falling off her mattress, but she’s asleep.

“How’d you do that?” you ask Felix, frowning.

He shrugs. “Magic, I guess. I don’t know. Your Dad said it was okay if I stayed.”

“Yeah. Of course it is.”

He nods and fiddles with the hems of his sleeves. “Do you want to watch a movie? You look pretty wired.”

“Yeah. Movie sounds good.”

***

When you wake in the morning you think you’re in your bed. But it’s too warm and the light’s in a weird spot. Which is when you realise you’re still on the couch, nestled between Felix and the back of the couch.

You lift yourself off the couch the best you can, trying not to wake him. He grumbles something then turns over, pulling the blanket over his shoulders.

Maybe Haley was right. Maybe he does like you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have the team from Bones coming~~ because it's going to be FUN!!
> 
> Also Derek is a+ he's friends with Mom and Hotch and no one can ever convince me otherwise.


	9. Chapter 9

"Hi Ma'am," Agent Booth says. He never calls you Ma'am. He looks exhausted.

"Hey Booth." 

"I'm really sorry about all that pain you've just been through." 

You shake your head. Stop yourself from saying it's alright. It wasn't alright. You know that. 

"It seems the team sent in before us was completely incompetent and should not have gotten their qualifications." 

You glance up, offering a weak smile at the woman who joins him. She throws the case files onto the table and starts talking about something about skull reconstructions and getting everything shipped back to the Jeffersonian (but she can’t, there’s some jurisdiction thing, and you have to smile at the way Booth seems to be calming her down about it).

“Is there a mortuary here?” she asks, turning to you.

“Uh, funeral home’s an hour away, same with the hospital, but if you need something cold there was a storage room in the old doctor’s practice.”

“Was?”

“I assume it’s still there.”

“Bones just needs something sterile,” Booth says, cutting her off before she starts talking again. You try to fight off the profiling brain that starts jumping up.

“The practice still has sterile rooms. And an internet connection, natural light, dark rooms, it’s got everything.”

Bones raises an eyebrow at you.

“It’s my dad’s.”

***

“We’re currently working on a skull reconstruction, but we appear to be missing large sections of bones,” Doctor Brennan tells you as you come in. 

The skull seems to have been in pieces. Obviously, one wouldn’t need a reconstruction if it was in one piece. But this would put Saskia’s 3D puzzles to shame. It was easier not to look at it like it was once a real, human, person. 

Morgan and Aaron were right. You didn’t want to see it.

“I’m just here for paperwork,” you smile, waving the wad of paper in front of you. “They can’t bring the BAU in unless we have a serial, and we’re invited in by the locals.”

“That doesn’t concern me.”

You watch Doctor Brennan return to her work.

“Actually, it’s for you, I can’t sign it if I’m not on the case. Chain of evidence and stuff.”

“Oh. Thank-you.”

You leave the paperwork on the table she points to, smile even though she’s not looking, and turn to leave.

“I seem to be short an intern,” Brennan starts. “Booth says I should ask you if I may take your Doctor Reid?”

“He’s not mine to pass out but I can ask him.”

“Thank-you,” Brennan says, although it looks like it pains her.

***

The roof always has been and always will be the only place to get any peace and quiet. Even as you hear Aaron climbing through the attic window it still feels… serene.

“Haley always said we could find you up here. I didn’t believe her.”

“Here I am.”

He breathes out slowly, carefully, like if he breathes too heavy he could disturb the universe.

“We don’t have to stay,” he says at last. “We can go home.”

“We can’t go home,” you whisper. “There’s a kid out there that died the same time as Sasi disappeared. Someone out there is missing their kid.”

“Okay.” He slides his hand into yours and says nothing else. 

***

You can't sleep. 

Tossing and turning, getting up and checking on the kids so much that Emily threatens to put a baby monitor in their room so you'll stop.

On your fourth return to your bedroom, Aaron's sitting up on the bed. He's reading a cheap paperback that's way too old by now. 

"What's wrong?" He asks. 

You shrug, closing the door. He doesn't let you get very far, grabbing your hand and tugging you towards him. 

"What's going on? Why are you so restless?"

"I can't… can't. My brain won't stop." 

"Okay," Aaron says softly, pulling you onto his lap. “Okay.” 

He cups your face, running the pads of his thumbs over your cheeks. “You’re okay,” he murmurs softly, and you know he starts smiling the moment your eyes flutter shut, your arms going limp around his shoulders.

And your brain really does stop, forgetting everything that had you going up and out of bed a thousand times over. You hum as Aaron presses a light kiss on the underside of your jaw, working his way across your neck to the other side of your jaw.

“Now is not the time,” you whisper, but it’s got no effort in it. Aaron knows it’s got no effort in it. He waits, just for a moment, to see if you’re serious that ‘now’ isn’t the time, and when he sees no resistance he kisses you.

He waits for you to deepen the kiss, keeping everything to your pace. Never going anywhere that’s faster than the pace you set, hands not wandering anywhere other than your face, neck and hips. Not until you take one, placing it under your shirt. He hesitates over your scars, landing on his favourite one.

Yes, he has a favourite scar. Just like you do on Aaron. Something neither of you had ever expected. Aaron’s is the crescent scar over your hip, the one Foyet matched on Haley (not that Aaron knows that), and yours is the scar over his right ribs. Neither of you have much reason for it, besides them just being the two scars you both gravitate towards.

“Is your brain still whirring?” Aaron whispers into your ear, hands squeezing your hips lightly.

“A little,” you breathe, even though the answer really is ‘no’.

“The kids are safe. We’re safe. You’re okay.” The words had become a mantra at this point.

“I know,” you whisper back, nuzzling between his jumper and his bare neck. “I know, I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be sorry. It’s okay.” 

“It’s not okay.”

“Baby,” Aaron says, kissing your shoulder. “I know you’ve just spent a long time looking after the kids, and everyone else, by yourself. Struggling to adapt back to not being hunted isn’t something to be sorry for.” 

“I hardly did a good job at it,” you snort before you can stop yourself. Aaron hesitates at your shoulder, then lifts his head and grabs your jaw softly but firmly. He stares at you in the lamplight with those heavy, dark, brown eyes. 

“Look at me. You did an incredible job. You brought the kids home safe, you brought yourself home safe.” He doesn’t let your eyes go, not even when you can’t see him anymore because there’s too many tears that are threatening to spill. “That’s all you needed to do. You can’t blame yourself for Haley.”

You try to say ‘okay’ but your chin wobbles and you’re violently trying to blink your tears back.

“It’s okay to be overwhelmed,” he whispers. 

“I wish this wasn’t happening now, of all times. I just need some time to breathe.”

“At least you avoided dinner with Felix’s parents.”

You laugh, wiping your cheeks free from tears. “Yeah. Who’d have thought it.” You run your hands through Aaron’s hair, smiling to yourself while you watch the little soft tufts stick up between your fingers. There’s something in his eyes, though. Something he hasn’t told you.

“Aaron?” you say softly. You don’t need to say anything else.

“I don’t think I would have survived this long if I had lost both you and Haley,” he confesses quietly. “Please don’t ever doubt if you did a good job coming back.”

You smile at him, just weakly, and kiss him softly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He cups the back of your head and pulls you closer until you’re nose to nose. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” you say quietly. So quietly the two of you barely hear it.

~*~*~ Teenage Era ~*~*~

“Mfmmf, I love you,” Haley says through a mouthful of something that looks like it could be a cookie. Then she’s racing upstairs to where the boys are trying desperately to get inside through the bathroom window.

“They can use the front door,” your dad grumbles as he walks by.

“I know.” You jog up the stairs, stopping half way when you realise the only reason the boys are using the bathroom window is because Sasi’s having a nap before you, Sasi and your dad head out to the ballet in DC.

When you get into the bathroom, Felix is halfway to lowering himself into the bathtub. The house is built weird: high ceilings, weirdly placed rooves. The window into the bathroom is barely high enough to climb into, it would be more efficient to step through it. But the drop in the bathtub is at least two people tall.

Haley’s up on the edge of the bathtub as Aaron goes through the window, coaching him through each move that makes you wonder how many times she’s done it. Surely you should know how many times your best friend’s snuck into your house.

“Hey,” Felix says shyly. Blushes a little. “About the other day…”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to--”

There’s a crash, followed by an eerie silence before Haley starts to nervously laugh. The kind of laugh that encapsulates all the horror she’s feeling in one go. There’s no noise from Aaron.

“Hotchner?” Felix says, eyes wide as he refuses to look away from you. Then you both risk looking in the bathtub.

Somehow, Aaron Hotchner, all limbs, managed to miss the taps in the bath. It’s ruffled his hair, but he’s breathing. He looks dazed more than anything. 

“Dude are you dead?” Felix says, leaning over the edge of the dry bath and putting his hand under Aaron’s nose.

“Yes,” Aaron groans.

Haley grabs your arm and squeezes it with a death grip that makes you think she’ll snap your bones clean in two.

“Hales?”

But she’s gone pale and she’s pointing into the bath.

You think the worst: Aaron’s landed on one of Saskia’s bath toys and impaled himself on a rubber duck. The blood’s slowly filling up the tub like he’s some old Egyptian Queen who bathes herself in the blood of her enemies.

The reality sinks in a little slower.

“That’s a very broken leg,” you say. Because it is. Legs aren’t supposed to bend like that, and especially not there.

Which is when Aaron passes out.

“Everything okay?” your dad asks. He’s got a sleep addled toddler in his arms, rubbing at her crusty eyes as she tries to make sense of everything that’s going on around her. 

“Aaron broke his leg,” you relay.

“And passed out,” Haley adds, quite rushed and nervous.

Your dad just sighs, hands you Saskia (who leans forward, looks at Aaron, and cackles with laughter) then kneels by the bath and starts doing whatever he’s doing. Gets Haley to help as he tells Felix ‘don’t break my bath’.

“This is why you should use the front door,” he says to Aaron.

But he says it loud enough that every single person in that room knows it’s directed at all of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're back, slowly. i'm in my last 6 months of undergrad and ~~first week is always a lot~~. [also, full disclosure, I had a very detailed plot for this that triggered me (why did i think i was mentally stable enough to go down that path haha) so this plot may ~fizzle out~ with less bang than anticipated. Apologies in advance, but we do have Derek adopting Ellie and Valhalla!! so there's LOTS OF FUN IN HERE even if i drop this plot like a hot potato].


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